Gender: Female
Location: New York
Occupation: Student
Member Since: August 8, 2007
Answers: 35
Last Update: April 14, 2016
Visitors: 2776
Favorite Columnists
trueadvice3
|
| |
21/f
I just don't like people!
I've read that a lot of people say or feel this way when they've had a lot of bad experiences, been bullied etc.
But this is not the case for me. I haven't been bullied and my experiences were never really that "bad". (I haven't been hurt etc.) I just feel like people bore me and I just can't find anyone who I actually like or sympathise with. Everyone is so pretictable and socializing just drains me because I can't stand to listen to daily boring conversations about meaningless things. The only person I can stand to be around is my boyfriend. But that's only because we can sit in a room together, enjoying eachothers company, without having to make conversation all the time. And when we do talk, I feel like he understands me. The fact that I have no friends doesn't depress me. I am happy being by myself. I do get invited to parties sometimes, but I decline because I feel like it's way too much work, since I don't enjoy myself around other humans. But recently I've actually started disliking people who try to make contact with me. There is one person in university, who was being quite nice to me. It was okay at first and we actually hung out a little, but after a while it got annoying and I started hating him for no reason. Now he keeps looking at me and it makes me think things like "Who does he think he is, what makes him think that he can look at me?". Same with an acquaintance who lives further away. We chat on facebook sometimes and I am fine with that. But now he keeps calling me and tells me that he wants to visit me soon (We've seen eachother in person many times, so he's not a stranger on the internet), and I just get super angry at that. No, I am not afraid of being close with someone and I am also not afraid of loss. There just isn't anyone, who I WANT to be close with because I can't relate to them and they just annoy me. I also don't feel empathy towards humans. Sometimes I even chuckle or think things like "ha-ha!", when something bad happens.
I wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose, but I don't care if people do get hurt.
I feel a lot of empathy towards animals though, so I doubt that I am a psychopath or anything like that. I love animals, I feel joy whenever I am around my cats. I don't expect anything from them, I'm just happy when they're there. And I don't need them to follow commands, so me liking animals has nothing to do with the fact that they don't talk back and listen to everything I say. (Which they don't, because they're cats) I even like that they have a mind of their own and only cuddle with me when they WANT to and not because they worship me.
I just feel so drained from being around people every day and having to make conversation (which I don't even do a lot). Whenever I get home from classes, I just sleep for 1-3 hours, because I'm really really tired.
I am not a sad or depressed person, when I can be by myself, I do things that I enjoy and it makes me happy.
I don't even want to change that I'd rather be alone, I just need some help on how to deal with NOT being alone. How can I get rid of the hatred towards people who show an interest in me? And how can being around them be less draining? Has anyone ever felt the same?
English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. (link)
| |
Are you around people who speak only english? If so, this could be why it's so exhausting to be around people! I can't imagine what it must be like constantly translating in your head and on top of that trying to communicate with emotions in a second language. Maybe there's a cultural barrier that makes it hard too. It's a great thing that you enjoy your own company. I'm the same way! It's an added bonus that you have a boyfriend and really enjoy his company. Be yourself, do what you enjoy, and ultimately that will put you on the path you're meant to be on.
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
No, Im around people who speak my first language. I actually enjoy speaking English more and also watch/read everything in English. So I probably wouldn't mind speaking English all day, I don't even have to translate in my head. :)
|
|