Member Since: September 7, 2015
Answers: 3
Last Update: September 8, 2015
Visitors: 795
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21/f
I just don't like people!
I've read that a lot of people say or feel this way when they've had a lot of bad experiences, been bullied etc.
But this is not the case for me. I haven't been bullied and my experiences were never really that "bad". (I haven't been hurt etc.) I just feel like people bore me and I just can't find anyone who I actually like or sympathise with. Everyone is so pretictable and socializing just drains me because I can't stand to listen to daily boring conversations about meaningless things. The only person I can stand to be around is my boyfriend. But that's only because we can sit in a room together, enjoying eachothers company, without having to make conversation all the time. And when we do talk, I feel like he understands me. The fact that I have no friends doesn't depress me. I am happy being by myself. I do get invited to parties sometimes, but I decline because I feel like it's way too much work, since I don't enjoy myself around other humans. But recently I've actually started disliking people who try to make contact with me. There is one person in university, who was being quite nice to me. It was okay at first and we actually hung out a little, but after a while it got annoying and I started hating him for no reason. Now he keeps looking at me and it makes me think things like "Who does he think he is, what makes him think that he can look at me?". Same with an acquaintance who lives further away. We chat on facebook sometimes and I am fine with that. But now he keeps calling me and tells me that he wants to visit me soon (We've seen eachother in person many times, so he's not a stranger on the internet), and I just get super angry at that. No, I am not afraid of being close with someone and I am also not afraid of loss. There just isn't anyone, who I WANT to be close with because I can't relate to them and they just annoy me. I also don't feel empathy towards humans. Sometimes I even chuckle or think things like "ha-ha!", when something bad happens.
I wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose, but I don't care if people do get hurt.
I feel a lot of empathy towards animals though, so I doubt that I am a psychopath or anything like that. I love animals, I feel joy whenever I am around my cats. I don't expect anything from them, I'm just happy when they're there. And I don't need them to follow commands, so me liking animals has nothing to do with the fact that they don't talk back and listen to everything I say. (Which they don't, because they're cats) I even like that they have a mind of their own and only cuddle with me when they WANT to and not because they worship me.
I just feel so drained from being around people every day and having to make conversation (which I don't even do a lot). Whenever I get home from classes, I just sleep for 1-3 hours, because I'm really really tired.
I am not a sad or depressed person, when I can be by myself, I do things that I enjoy and it makes me happy.
I don't even want to change that I'd rather be alone, I just need some help on how to deal with NOT being alone. How can I get rid of the hatred towards people who show an interest in me? And how can being around them be less draining? Has anyone ever felt the same?
English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. (link)
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1. scenario
You desperately want to look special and untouchable. You want from people to desire your company. So first you make contact. You give advantage to the boys because they will easier fall for you. And that is not because you are so interesting but because they have expectations. You chat with them in order to show them your value. When they show their interest you won, so you don`t have need to hang around with them or to chat anymore.Being ignored they are having just more and more interest for you. And your ego is fed.This went so far that you actually wrote all this on some forum to seek confirmation about how you are special from random people. That is the reason why you don`t have female friends...Actually why you don`t have friends at all or at least a person with you share some interest with who you can speak about something you are passioned about. In similar way is functioning your relationship. Your guy adores you because you treat him in the same way he feels about himself, and in the same way you feel about yourself- unworthy.Find self value.
2. You are in love.But not ordinary love it is possessive relationship. One of you is quiet, introverted person and the other is the person who controls partner`s decisions, time and actions.i suppose in that case you are introverted person because you have problem to interact with people , problem to express yourself, to explain how much you want them in your life or not.. So you are the one who feels guilt if don`t satisfy someone's needs. Even if those needs don`t match with yours.You put other`s feelings before yours.. So you are shaped by your enviorment. You feel trapped and have desperate need to escape. That is why you have to run away from people..because you attract only people who want to invade your life ..just like your boyfriend. The truth is that people are not empty. In every area that you have interest and passion there are people with who you can have interesting conversations instead of daily boring conversations . Instead of that you are focused on your boyfriend and cats and people you dont like. Because you don`t know the other way to fill your own emptiness.
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Rating: 2
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The first scenario is not true at all, I don't even like myself a lot BECAUSE I am unable to function like a normal person. My boyfriend and I are both introverted, nobody controlls the other. I do feel trapped but I don't run from people who invade my life because they are invading but just because I don't like them very much. I know that there are interesting people in this world but not around my daily life. I don't want to talk about clothes, boyfriends, dramatic things, because I find them boring. I like to philosophise and talk about meaningful things, have a smart conversation without being looked at like I'm crazy. My boyfriend is the only one I know who I can do that with. Yes, I probably just need to meet the right people but due to me living in a small town AND being introverted, it's not that easy. And due to the fact that I realise every day that I can't fit in and when I DO, I'm just pretending to be someone I'm not, I guess it's hard not to focus on that. I do have things beside my cats that make me happy, I was just using them as an example that I can feel empathy and am not a socio or psychopath. Any advice on how I can fill my own emptiness instead?
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