Me...f,48 (but look like I'm 35),gay. I walk to work every day. During my walk I was passing this attractive woman (early 30s maybe), who would always smile at me. We smiled at each other for weeks before I stopped her, talked to her (complimented her smile, and we had a great comvo) and gave her my number(I have business cards, and a habit of jumping first and asking questions later). She didn't ask for it, and as soon as I gave it to her, I felt like she just wanted to go. Well, I've seen her once since then (it's been three weeks...we used to see each other twice a day, every day), and she said "I'm going to call you", which she hasn't done. I know she's been leaving early to avoid running into me. I misread the situation, obviously, but I also want her to know it's OK for her not to call. I'm not desperate. I just wanted to get to know her. I really want to catch her and apologize/explain... I miss her smile... but part of me says just let it go. What should I do?
I say talk to her. Try to be straightforward and ask her if she's avoiding you. It'll be uncomfortable at first, true, but I'm sure you'll both feel better afterwards. She's not comfortable, for whatever reasons, and if you don't say anything she's going to continue to feel uncomfortable. Trust me, I've been in her shoes. I'm a friendly person and, before I was married I had the habit of smiling and being a little flirty with guys that I had no interest in - the situation that you described happened to me a couple of times and, truth be told, I had no idea how to turn them down without hurting their feelings so I avoided them. And I'll tell you, in my experience, I appreciated when they would speak up and say something about it and I've learned from it to be real and straightforward with people and not run away. If you talk to her, tell her you meant no offense and just thought she was cute but make it clear that if she's not into you or not into girls that's cool and you're fine with it. In the end, I'm sure she'll be flattered and thankful that you said something so she could relax and stop avoiding you. And YOU'LL feel better to get it resolved too. Hey, you may even end up friends and laughing about it some time in the future. Just remember to keep it light and friendly. You sound like a cool person who's comfortable with herself and that'll come across to her so, if she's cool too, she'll feel both silly for the avoiding and flattered by your interest. If she's not cool about it, then that's her loss. You will know you did the mature and truly nice thing. Good luck!
[view]
(Rating: 5)
Thank you! I was hoping to get a response from someone who's been on the other side of this situation. This was super-helpful, and I really appreciate it. Thank you again!
|
