asksoadorable__x3
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: I hate putting this under love life. But I wasn't sure what else to do.

I've been struggling with this thing since March. I am a 19 year old female, college student. This spring I went on spring break with friends in Florida. We went to a club with fake IDs and, yes, I'm a college student, I got pretty drunk. I've only blacked out three times in my entire life and I've been drinking since 16 and I'm almost twenty. The last night of spring break, in that club, I blacked out. Kind of. I can remember bits and pieces. I remember meeting a guy and dancing with him and that I thought he was cute. At some point I left with him. Which is completely unlike me. My friends were freaking out and so scared, they called me hundred times. I don't remember texting them this but I replied to their messages and calls with "I'm fine, meet you at home". The next thing I remember after leaving the club was vomiting violently in a toilet in either a house or a condo. It was horrible. I remember the guy picking me up off the floor. And I remember laying in a bed. I think I have flashes of having sex but I don't know if they're real. Before this night I had only had sex with one guy, my boyfriend of two years but we had recently broken up. I remember being in a car and walking up to the house where my friends and I were staying. I definitely remember this next part. I was laying on a table in the backyard of our house, behind some trees by the pool. I remember something inside me and it hurt. I don't know what it was.That's the last thing I remember. When I woke up the next morning my vagina was bleeding and sore and it hurt really bad. I knew I had had some kind of sexual intercourse. I just didn't remember if I wanted to. I felt so embarrassed and didn't tell my friends. I was so mad at myself for putting myself in that situation. and I hate that I can't remember if I told him no or fought him. im almost positive I wouldn't have willingly had sex with a guy I just met. I went to the doctor to get tested for STDs and pregnancy and I was okay. I didn't tell the nurse any details. But that night still eats at me. I haven't told anyone and I don't know what I would say. I don't think I can call it rape, but then why do I feel so violated?
Whether or not you consented to sex, he still raped you. You were drunk and not in the right mental state to consent to anything at that point.

At this point, if possible, you should still press charges. Do you remember anything about what this guy looked like? He could do this to another unsuspecting girl, so you should try to report it if you can.

You mention that you're struggling with this experience. I recommend that you go to a counselor to discuss this problem. He or she will help you work this out and get over what happened to you.

Thank you for responding to me. I've recently been started on antidepressants and my doctor suggested counseling, and I think I might follow through with it. I already feel better just saying it here. Thank you for your kindness. Unfortunately I wouldn't even know where to begin. I can't remember anything about him except he was brunette, tall, and I think his name was Alex or Alec... I can't even remember what school he said he went to.

bio
soadorable__x3

Info
Member Since:
December 9, 2010

Answers:
118

Last Update:
July 7, 2015

Visitors:
8095

Main Categories:







layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker