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I do best answering questions that are related to careers, marriage, children, dating and other interpersonal matters.
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So basically I'm a girl who has a crush on her female friend. My friend has another best friend who she prefers more than me- but whether it's a crush or love, I defiantly like her more than a friend. But I've never been attracted to someone of the same gender before... I'm totally okay with being gay, but I'm just not sure if I am- and I'm not bi because (as I've said) this is the first time, and I know that she's not gay but is supporting of gay people, so do I tell her how I feel? Or continue to be the third wheel as I feel really sad, I don't know... Please no hate, I'm very young (13) and please serious answers... Thanks, Lea Wills xxx
At 13 you are just entering a time when you're beginning to figure out,"Who am I?" The process is complicated by enormous changes in your physical chemistry that can cause confusion about what future roles you should play. It's also a time when you begin to seek companionship and love with another person. The emergence of sexuality combined with rapid change creates a heightened potential for both positive and negative outcomes.
My advice begins by saying, while you may not be able to help how you feel, you are the captain of your own ship and you can and should try to do the right thing. Would confessing your attraction tend to add to or diminish the quality of your friendship? As you've written that she favors another friend, your confession is liable to create a dilemma and if she doesn't share your mode of affection, it could cause an irreparable rupture, leaving you hurt and even more confused.
The decision is yours and yours alone but if you were my daughter, I would tell you to put your friends interest above yours and I would add: At 13, it would be in your best interest to delay any sexual activity, homosexual or heterosexual until your orientation becomes clear.
(Rating: 5) Thanks, your advice really helped.