In life, we choose to believe what we want to believe, and choose to see what we want to see.
In my life, I chose to see logic with the highest regard to the moral north of everything.
And I have seen the world deciding to be blind through conformity, armoured with excuses and apologies, pretending that the truth can be subjective.
I have seen and observed the decline of humanity and the devolution of ethics.
Member Since: January 14, 2015
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Hey, so I'm a 13 year old girl... I recently went to the doctor about depression... I'm going to get two types of counciling, but she hasn't scheduled an appointment for me yet... I tried this thing where you wrap a hairband around your wrist and flick it, it was fine ... More of a distraction and I could control when I wanted to stop or start, I didn't like the fact that it left red marks on my arms though... Two of my friends cut (that I know of) and I thought that it would be an okay idea to experiment, so I cut my leg multiple times, not deep or long... Just a scrape to draw a little blood... I know I have problems, and I'm not going to do this again (despite the fact that I want to). The two friends that I've mentioned know about this, and promised not to tell anyone unless it got really serious. I feel terrible because I promised my mum that I would never self harm- and I feel ashamed and I don't want to burden her with any more problems (she already has enough to deal with), the depression was hard enough to tell her about... I just don't know whether I should tell someone and I'm scared and lost and I feel alone... I was stupid I know, but I don't know what to do... Please someone tell me what to do, and don't bother asking why I did this- that is confidentual... Thanks, lea wills xxx (link)
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I spoke to a lot of young people who have gone through the same thing. Some, even younger. First, I would like to make this perfectly clear:
- They have their own reasons, some twisted, some perfectly normal, and all of them want the reasons to remain confidential.
- They were looking to feel something when they did it. No one actually knew what it was.
- All of them failed to see what they were looking for, and were just left with ugly scars.
- All of them regret what they did, but most of them want to do it again.
When I spoke to them in their one-on-one sessions, I have found something in common. And I do hope that this part would help you find light in whatever it is you're going through.
The common thing is that they don't know whether a problem at hand is for them to solve. They get affected by it. They want to solve it. Yet they can't seem to do just that.
And I will tell you the same thing that I have told them. Problems are as common as cold. Problems will always be there. And problems will always make you feel worthless.
However, you have to understand that problems, no matter how great, will always have a solution. Always.
Most of them asked me the same question: "Then why can't I solve this problem?"
To this, I answered:
There are only two types of problems that a person cannot solve. One, is not his or her problem. The other one, is not a problem.
You have to understand that what you're going through is pretty normal, and you have the ability to beat it. The mere fact that you wrote and sought for advice makes you one of the few people who are lucky enough to think before doing anything rash. You are already halfway in understanding why you feel the way you feel.
I am hoping you would find a person that you can talk to, a friend, or a family member, or a teacher. Someone who you think can keep a secret. And someone who will be able to enlighten you more about what you're going through.
Lastly, please don't feel alone. I know that's too much for me to ask. I had my share of feeling the same thing. But remember that we're only alone because we let ourselves be alone.
You seem to be a very smart person. I know you would get what I am trying to say. And thank you so much for opening up. It's a positive step.
Good luck.
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