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Q: So I joined color guard a while ago and I am finally getting really good at it. I just started high school color guard with 7 other freshmen and I'm the second best freshman on our team. Yeah, SECOND. The first is my friend Jen. She is so perfect. She can spin a quad on a rifle already. She also is all of the upper classmen's favorite. Even my color guard partner likes her more than she likes me. I'm really jealous of this. So when band camp started this week, I always skipped my lunch hour and practiced drill and the work the whole time. I also came 1 1/2 hours early to practice rifle and other work. Plus I've been trying to learn really hard tosses like a 45 and scoop tosses. Plus when I get home, I practice for 2 hours. I just want to be good like Jen soon so when I'm a junior, I get to be co-captain, and my senior year team captain. The thing is, I'm not at all the type of jealous person. I'm the kind of person who worries about other before myself. I also ALWAYS say sorry. So this is kinda a weird feeling of being jealous at my friend. But I mean, she is better at everything than me. Besides guard, I do theater and I have done it for 3 years and this year I was supposed to get a good part. But no. Jen decided to try out for the first time this year and she got the MAIN ROLE. I got a lower role and I hated it. Plus, I have been doing competitive swimming since I was 8, I hold state records in my age group. But this year in summer gym, she beat my best time by 3 seconds and she has never swam competitively before. I get so mad. I work so much harder than her in color guard too. Like 10x harder. She doesn't practice unless she's with her color guard partner. But me, well I already said how much I do. I just want to be as good as her. It's so mean, but what do I do? I can't tell her because she will be mad at me and tell the rest of the team and they will all hate me. I'm so confused that it's hurting me inside. Please help.
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Jealousy is a terrible thing. It can cause a lot of harm for everyone involved. But, that is not to be confused with a healthy sense of competition. This is often a very positive thing as that it helps us strive to be the best that we can be at any given thing.
Since you are obviously into athletics, I'll use sports as an example. Let's take swimming. For a long time, Michael Phelps was the elite swimmer. Ryan Lochte can up to rival him and while being teammates and probably friends, they are also competitors. They drive each other to do better and become better.
Have you ever given any thought to the idea that maybe your friend Jen is driven by you? Maybe she feels like you do in that she thinks, whether she'll admit it or not, that you are really really good at things and wants to be like you? Sure, perhaps some things might come more natural for her and with less practice but that happens in life sometimes.
I suggest you keep up with your competitive spirit but don't let it consume you. The key is to be the best you can be and do the best you can do. Ultimately you are competing against yourself. Forget what others are doing and this will be a much more positive experience.
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The thing about jen is that she is better at everything than me. Even school she gets better grades than me. How can she be jealous of me when she's better than me at everything? Thanks for the advice though
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Info
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Member Since: September 29, 2013 Answers: 200 Last Update: December 6, 2015 Visitors: 9857
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