I am too old and out of shape to beat around the bush so I'll give it to you straight. If you want sugarcoating go to the candy store, you won't find it here. Sometimes a little good old fashioned honesty is just what the doctor ordered!
Gender: Female
Location: PA
Member Since: August 19, 2012
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Last Update: June 14, 2018
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So my family - my mom, brother, and my friend all live in a one bedroom apartment. We've lived like this for 3 years this month. But my brother has recently told us that he wants to live by himself. Either he keeps the apartment and we move out or he will move out and we keep the apartment. So me and my friend were thinking about getting a place together. But my mom wants to move with us too. But I really dont want her to. I really dont want to live with my friend either, I just want my own space but someone to go half with on bills would be nice. But my mom would have nowhere else to go. She got fired from her a job a couple of months ago and she has bad knees and hips. She also has a drug habit. So shes trying to get disability. And my friend has a job but she also doesnt pay her bills on time. For the last 4 months she's given my brother like 200 total for rent. She makes enough to pay him. But she spends it on food (eating out) and buying she really doesn't need. They both dont like to clean. I also dont want extra baggage I just idk I feel like its mean but I also feel like I should give them a chance. I also dont want my mom to get comfortable because I dont want live her forever. Any suggestions??? (link)
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If your mom has an addiction moving her in is the worst thing you can do. It is called enabling. As long as someone else is taking care of her needs the only thing she has to worry about is drugs! It may sound harsh but it might save her life. If your friend is irresponsible with money it could be a bad decision to bring her with you as well. Why don't you look for a small efficiency apartment that you can afford by yourself but no on else would be allowed to move in with you(in case you have a moment of weakness.)You should be the first one to move out of your current apartment because it will be much harder to leave mom alone after all the others are gone. Addicts have an amazing capacity to manipulate loved ones and make them feel guilty. If at all possible look up a local chapter of NA(narcotics anonymous)for mom and (Al-anon)for you. They will help you understand how and in what ways you can help her with out hurting yourself or enabling her. If she refuses to go, you should go anyway. It will help you to learn how to deal with her addiction. Good luck on your first apartment and your new life!
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Rating: 5
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Thanks for your feedback. I just feel really bad about not wanting her to move with me. If she doesn't move with me then she has nowhere to go. If we leave my brother will stay in the apartment we live in now with his girlfriend but I know he wants to live by himself also. Its just hard. I fell like ill be carrying dead weight
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