I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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hey, am a highschool senior ,i want to ask you about what i should do about this boy which i love very much and he also does love me. i know that beacuse he asked me to be his girlfriend by his friend way back before but i said no at that time, beacuse am not able to have a boyfriend beacuse am not old enough. now am 17 years old but am still not able to do so, and my parents would kill me too,and going behind their back is not an option beacuse i will die of guilt, so since then no one knows i love him just me, am pretending that i don't love him but i don't know what to do any more beacuse its killing me inside, the amazing thing is we talk not in school but by e-mail as normal classmates and what i hate about talking to him by e-mail is that it will make it more awkward when we see each other in school beacuse we dont talk in school as normal classmates for the reason that our friends will make fun of us. so am feeling bad everyday after school beacuse i didn't get a chance to talk to him as my classmate, some of it is my fault beacuse i dont also treat him as one of my other classmates and he is so afraid of me even to say"hi" so i don't know what to do. if you have any advice for me i will be happy to take any of your suggestions thank you!!! (link)
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Ordinarily I would tell people never to defy or hide a thing from parents. However, in a few months you are legally an adult. By law you can make your own decisions then.
The question is what is it they are objecting to about you having a relationship especially when you are virtually an adult? I would tell them that you know they don't like the idea of it but that so-and-so is a great person.
Introduce them to him and his parents and make them aware of how many years you both have felt the same but couldn't act. I think they'll get it then.
As far as death by feelings of guilt it's not possible. Sure you feel bad but if you know something is right and justified... It's your decision but if your heart says you need to tell him and act on this I would stop denying it.
Your parents can always learn to change their perception once they see the relationship is healthy. I would at your age do what feels right and deal with whatever their reaction may be later as you're an adult.
You can't control what they will think but you can control being miserable for not doing what you heart says is correct. Teens needs to form relationships and learn from them. It's healthy.
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Rating: 5
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the thing is in this country(ethiopia) having a relationship at my age is count as an arrogance or that i am a bad girl or something so they will never understand me and ok i go behind their back and act towards him ,but don't judge me wrong i have my pride too .am sorry i know i sound rude but i just need him to talk to me as my classmate/friend beacuse i don't also need a relationship!!!
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