I am too old and out of shape to beat around the bush so I'll give it to you straight. If you want sugarcoating go to the candy store, you won't find it here. Sometimes a little good old fashioned honesty is just what the doctor ordered!
Gender: Female
Location: PA
Member Since: August 19, 2012
Answers: 317
Last Update: June 14, 2018
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My husband is in the military and after 13 years he is separating due to medical reasons. He wants to move back to our hometown to be near both of our families, primarily his mother and aunt. Well, I am hesitate. I didn't have the best childhood due to both of my parents being alcoholics. They both still drink heavily and can get violent and emotional when doing so. My oldest brother still lives in the area and drinks excessively as well. To top it off, my sister-in-law and her husband live about an hour away and love to drink and party and are somewhat open swingers. Their sexually active 15 year old daughter is free to do as she pleases and their 12 year old son is often left on his own. While I respect my husband for wanting to be near his mother and his disabled aunt, I am having a hard time dealing with the fact of being near the rest of our family. While it would be nice to be near family, this is not the situation I have envisioned. I don't want our children thinking drinking excessively and having multiple partners is okay. Should I accept the fact we are moving back and deal with the situation as it comes or continue trying to talk my husband into moving somewhere else? (link)
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Maybe you could try to reach a compromise with your husband. Rather than moving back to your home town you could perhaps find a beautiful location in your home STATE within a 1 1/2 to 2 hour driving distance. This should deter your not so desirable relatives to be in close contact but close enough to visit his mother and aunt often. Another option might be to discuss the possibility of relocating his mother and aunt to be closer to you. I think you have a very valid concern about your family and I do not recommend making the move and then trying to deal with the fallout. Many good marriages have been lost this way. I would try to reach a suitable compromise but I would put my foot down on moving back to the actual town where they live. Your children could be greatly affected by this move. You have to make your husband understand their welfare has to come first. Good luck!
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Rating: 5
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That is just the best idea! We are working through it now, in large part thanks to your idea! Thank you!
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