I am too old and out of shape to beat around the bush so I'll give it to you straight. If you want sugarcoating go to the candy store, you won't find it here. Sometimes a little good old fashioned honesty is just what the doctor ordered!
Gender: Female
Location: PA
Member Since: August 19, 2012
Answers: 317
Last Update: June 14, 2018
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20/f
I've hardly had any friends because I didn't want to be anybody's slave,so to speak. I've always been called ugly just because I'm not skinny and I don't wear make-up (I put eyeshadow and mascara on sometimes) and because I don't have money for branded clothes. I've always been called a nerd because I liked to study and have all A's and thanks to that now I'm studying medicine. I'm labeled as boring because I don't go partying every weekend,getting drunk and having sex with many guys. Nobody wants to get to know me,they all judge either on what they see or what they hear about me. No matter what I try no guy will notice me. It's like I'm invisible. And the most hated person in the world. How to be confident and have self worth when your life is like this? I don't wanna stop living,even though it had crossed my mind. I can't exactly talk to anyone about this because they think I'm being a drama queen. Nobody takes into account how I really feel. (link)
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You are afraid to try to make friends because you can't picture yourself on an equal footing with your peers. You even go as far as to say you believe they would consider you a slave. How you present yourself to the world is all in your ATTITUDE! You have to realize how unique and wonderful you are and embrace it! It really isn't that no one wants to get to know you but your negativity is projecting that onto them. Write down everything you like about yourself! You might be surprised to see how many good qualities you have! Next, write down what you consider to be your worst qualities. Those are the things you need to work on. Yes, I said work. If you are complaining but you are not willing to WORK to change it then you are just looking to throw a pity party! When you say "no matter what I try no guy will notice me" Sorry, but that sounds like the self defeatist beginnings of a pity party to me! No offense I hope, but this Geezer is too old and out of shape to beat around the bush so I have to give it to you straight! Frankly there were a couple of times I wanted to offer you some cheese with that whine! You are a straight A student with the opportunity to study medicine! Girl, that is nothing to sneeze at! You have all that going for you but you seem to feel that you need a man to validate you! Instead of looking for someone you want to date why not make YOURSELF into someone you would want to date? Moving on to some of the other issues you mention, you don't need brand names to look stylish. Get on Pinterest, find some looks you like and go to the thrift shops and look for something similar. Find a girl whose makeup you admire(someone you know is a nice person) and ask if she would mind giving you some pointers, or go to the make up department and get the sales person to help you. You will learn the best make up looks for you and you might just make a new friend in the bargain! Start doing your nails, find a new perfume, get some sexy new undies(they will make you feel sexy even if no else can see them!)Get the best haircut you can afford. I know I am suggesting some things that might not be in your budget but what I'm proposing is not outlandish and you ARE worth it so try to find a way if possible. If not, you can still work with what you have and make some big changes. For some inspiration try watching the Queen Latifah movie "Last Holiday". You will see the kind of attitude transformation I am talking about! If your self esteem issues are deeply rooted and you just can't seem to feel better about yourself no matter what then you need to seek counseling. There may be deeper issues than you realize. Whatever you do, stop feeling sorry for yourself and take action! You can believe you are beautiful and interesting or you can believe you are boring and unattractive but whichever one you believe you are going to be right!( take the time to think about what I just said) By the way someday when you are a brilliant self confident doctor, don't forget this old geezer who came down so hard on you but hopefully imparted a little wisdom in the process! Good luck!
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Rating: 5
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I don't think you came down too hard on me. You said what you had with the intention to help and to get me to do something about all this. Thank you for your words of wisdom. I will remember you,even though I don't know you. Thank you again.
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