I am too old and out of shape to beat around the bush so I'll give it to you straight. If you want sugarcoating go to the candy store, you won't find it here. Sometimes a little good old fashioned honesty is just what the doctor ordered!
Gender: Female
Location: PA
Member Since: August 19, 2012
Answers: 317
Last Update: June 14, 2018
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I have been feeling super jealous lately. I don't know why, I'm not usually like this. It all started when my boyfriend said he was going to get drinks with co-workers after work last friday. Most of them women. And I just didn't like that he was going without me. (I work late and couldn't go) What's more is that he didn't even tell me he was going until I asked him to do something after work. Also he carpools with this girl, who almost never pays him gas money, and I find out that she went to the bar after work two Fridays ago, and he bought her nearly $30 in drinks.
Anyways, I told him that I really dont like what's happening and I would prefer he doesn't go for drinks after work. Carpooling is one thing but alcohol doesn't need to be involved. And he said in a nutshell, too bad you need to trust me. Like, I do trust him but what he's doing makes me so uncomfortable, and he just thinks I'm overreacting.
Btw, I'm 21 my bf is 24. Together 5 years.
I need some advice here. Should I be feeling like this? Am I overreacting? Or am I right to feel this way? I just don't know. (link)
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The problem is not so much WHAT he is doing but how he is handling your reaction to it! You have told him how badly this situation is upsetting you and he isn't taking your feelings into consideration. The response he gave you seems very self centered and immature if you ask me. Personally, I think he should have tried to reassure you and comfort you. This lack of empathy for your feelings does not bode well for this relationship. Everything he is doing may be perfectly innocent and there may be no reason in the world not to trust him but that isn't what this issue is about. Once you tell a man who loves you that you are upset, he should be concerned for you and not just blow it off or put the blame back on you for "overreacting". (Personally, I hate that word). No one should ever make you ashamed for having an honest emotion or belittle you because you don't react to a situation in the same way someone else might. I think maybe you have some deeper issues going on in your relationship that need to be addressed. I hope he realizes the pain he is causing you and has enough maturity to do what it takes to make things right again. Good luck to you both!
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