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I am a Christian and I'm working on being a better one, but I'll be the first person to admit that I'm far from perfect. I have debilitating guilt and shame about my past and even the way I came to Christ, even though that sounds strange now that I'm writing it.

I feel like everyone else has really great, inspiring stories and I have kind of a cowardice one. Long story short, I wanted to come to God for years, but thought that I was too bad to do so. Like God wouldn't want someone like me. I didn't have the courage to find out if that was true or not until I was sick and thought I might be dying soon. When I found out that you can be forgiven for anything, I asked Jesus into my heart. (I'm fine now BTW).

Getting to my problem, my dad will not stop judging me, or my family for that matter. He judges us for missing church and any sins we commit. He'll imply or flat out say that we won't go to Heaven because of certain things that he himself does.

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm being hypocritical and judging him, but he's got problems as well. He talks hatefully to my mom, he does rotten thing to people, he uses filthy language, he lies, he takes our things that don't belong to him and these are the kinds of things he judges us for. He'll come home from church and act this way. I've never habitually done all of these things and I've repented, but when I drop the ball, he's all over me. I'm not saying that my dad's a terrible man or that he's not going to Heaven, but I don't feel that he's in a position to look down his nose at me.

The worst is when he judges me for missing church. I admit that I've been bad about that, but church isn't the only place where I worship God with other Christians. I've heard that you don't have to go to church as long as you worship somewhere. It's not in the Bible. It's not that I don't like church, it's just a long story of why I don't go every single Sunday.

He's confident about his own salvation and that of certain people close to him. He just judges his household. It bothers me that he thinks I might not go to Heaven when he and some of the people close to him are no better than I am. It just plain bothers me that he judges me at all.

One reason I think it bothers me is because it makes me feel like such a loser. It brings back the guilt and shame I mentioned earlier. It also makes me wonder if I'll ever be the Christian I need to be. If my own dad doesn't have confidence in me, how strong of a Christian can I be?

What do you think of this situation?

Hi there,
I am glad you came to realize that Jesus will accept anyone regardless of their circumstances/past. No, you do not sound hypocritical or judging, just as if you are expressing your concerns. I know of other Christian Dads that are this way, which is a shame. No need to worry about his faith; John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." I feel as if your Dad just needs to look into Jesus' word in a different perspective. Jesus was forgiving and encouraging.. I believe your Dad should figure out how he can react the same way as Jesus would to certain circumstances in your household/general life. No, I'm not saying you can change his ways, but you can help him realize God's intentions.


Romans 2:1
"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things."


I believe too that church isn't the only way you will worship God. Hebrews tells you to learn, pray and encourage eachother. Which does mean you should take time to worship with other Christians so you can grow your faith and further build your relationship with Him. Hebrews 10:25 says: "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some [is]; but exhorting [one another]: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." Thessalonians 5:17 says: "Pray without ceasing," and Psalm 119:1-176 says: "Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord! Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways!". Nowhere does it say you absolutely, positively have to attend church to do so. God just wants you to have Him in your heart and for you to share His word with others. Attending church is definitely a great way to do this, but it is not the only way. The Church of God is made up of His people and is not a building made with hands.


You are not a loser and you should not feel guilty either. If you want to be the Christian you wish to be, you only need to read and live God's word - it is that simple. Reading the Gospel is the best way to understand eternal life and as long as you are willing to let Jesus into your heart, he will always let you into his. 'The kingdom of God is a treasure hunt'. You are as strong of a Christian as you make yourself. Your Dad's criticism and confidence in you doesn't define your Christianity. YOU make YOURSELF a better Christian. Always remember: Proverbs 3:26 "For the lord will be your confidence and keep your foot from being caught" and Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." You will always have the strength of an awesome Christian, as long as you have faith.

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(Rating: 5) Thank you so much. I'm extremely sorry it took so long to get back to you. You're advice was wonderful and I completely agree with everything you said. Thank you again and God Bless you for your help. :)
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