Q: First off, I apologize for the long question.
I am a thirteen-year-old girl, and everything is making me want to die. No, I guess I don't really want to die -- I just want the pain to end.
The main reason why I hate life is because I don't understand anything in school. And to make up for it, I work so much harder than any other kid would . . . but it's no use. I have a learning disability as well, which makes me work and process things slowly. I'm just SO SLOW AND STUPID! Ugh. (This makes things a lot harder for me than other people think.)
Several people hate me. I'm pretty sure my family hates me, to start with. Especially my dad. And I know all homophobic people must hate me because I am a girl who likes girls. But no one hates me as much as I hate myself.
I know some people might tell me to find a counselor or therapist. I already have two of those. But neither of them help me AT ALL. The first one just doesn't understand me, and he does a lot more talking than listening. And the second one treats me as if I'm doing something wrong by feeling this way. I have been self-harming for a while as well. But no one is helping.
I guess I don't have too many logical reasons to feel unhappy. Feeling like everyone hates me and not doing well in school do not count as reasons. But I'm just not strong like other people are. But what is the point of going on? Why don't I just die now so I don't have to suffer anymore? It's not like anyone would care . . . they all hate me.
I wish I could get help. But no one is going to help me. I feel so alone right now and just feel like dying. Right now, suicide is just a thought. I haven't acted on it yet.
Is there anything that can be done to make things better? I don't know what to do anymore or how to go on. But I will appreciate any advice. Thank you. And sorry for the length.
