Member Since: June 19, 2011
Answers: 7
Last Update: September 19, 2013
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Magii
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I broke up with my boyfriend of two years a month ago. I was feeling distant, alone, and grown up when I started college. It felt great at first. I went on dates, dressed up, got guys' numbers, and had fun. This didn't last long. I began to miss my ex. I dream of him every night, miss his touch, crave his company. I miss him more and more everyday.
I find many things holding me back. For one, we fought a lot. It was mostly my fault, seeing as I struggle to control my emotions and often both physically and emotionally abused him. I know this isn't an excuse, but I grew up watching these behaviors in my household. I was constantly doubting of our future together. I couldn't seem to stay committed, either. But now that I realize that I let go of someone who never gave up on me even when I gave up on him, I miss him like crazy. We still talk every so often, but it's rare. He's apparently talking to a girl online from Georgia (we live in Florida), and when I confessed I missed him, he had many concerns. He wondered if I would really change, and also told me he was thinking of being with his online girlfriend (who, he added, is EXTREMELY insecure, clingy, and doesn't give her all towards him...), and said I truly needed to prove that I missed him and would change. I told him to give me a few months to pick up the lost pieces of myself and find my soul again.
I'm terrified. He said he's afraid he'll allow me back in and get hurt. I really want to change. Not for him, but for myself mostly. My bad control of emotions and lashing out and negativity could also destroy future relationships. (link)
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ooh, this is a tough one.
I've been on his side of things before and it doesn't feel good. What type of things are you willing to do to show him you care? What are you going to do for this change for the better?
Now from his perspective, I can see how he can be worried about getting hurt. It happened to me multiple times. You REALLY gotta prove that what you say isn't just words. Slowly before getting with him, talk to him. Treat him as a best friend. It'll show him that you can be dependable. That means less arguing over stupid little things and stuff like that.
Hope this helped even if only a little! :)
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