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I'm here to help, and I'll be as honest as possible. I hope I can help give any advice in any way, and I wish the best to everyone I respond to. Thanks!

advice

I am 19 years old, female, from a family background of muslims (surprise, surprise).

I'm pretty much not allowed to wear what I want because everything I want to wear is considered inappropriate.

For example, yesterday I wanted to wear a skirt that is PAST knee-length, and only shows the lower shin area... which is half way to the knees. No big deal, right? Wrong! My mom just looked at me with this shocked look in her eyes, and said that we're going on a family picnic and that it's just not nice or appropriate.

And then she started drilling me on how my clothing is not appropriate or "long enough". She wants me to find tops that are like up to my knees. Like seriously? seriously?

And then she continues to tell me how my cousins also think my clothing is inappropriate as well since one of them called her and told her that I was wearing inappropriate clothing and that she did not feel comfortable.

And this cousin of mine wears a burqa that covers her face so clearly we both have different ideas on what is appropriate.

Last time, I went to a sleepover at her house. And when I got dressed to go to the mall, she started yelling at me for my clothing. I was wearing chiffon top with a tank top underneath, but from the back I guess the tank was low that you could see my bra straps so she started freaking out, and yelling at me. And telling me that what I'm wearing is not appropriate, and I can't wear what I want to because it's not appropriate, and that I'm at her house. And when I told her I was wearing a tank top underneath, she called me liar. Until I ripped it out from underneath to show her. Which actually made her shut up with an "Oh..."

Anyways, I'm angry, frustrated and really annoyed. I'm 19 years old, I think I'm old enough to make decisions on what I want to wear without having people attack me or belittle me because it's not up to their standards.

I usually don't say anything or argue back to my cousin out of respect, and because we're really close. But honestly now, I don't think I'm interested in having to deal with her. She's a total bitch in general, and starts arguments for no reason.

Anyways, for the future. Would it be better for me to confront her and tell her to back off and mind her own business?





Her upbringing sounds much stricter than yours, therefore I'm assuming that your aunt and uncle brought her up that way to believe that any skin is inappropriate. Next time she says something, explain that you are not showing anything inappropriate and that it is your decision how you dress. However, just remember that your mom was also brought up in a strict household so remember respect. The respect will always remain as long as you don't have an attitude and listen to her as well.

Hope this helps!
xx

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(Rating: 4) Thanks!

Believe it or not, my cousin never really had a strict upbringing. She was born and raised here in Canada, where she never had restrictions with clothing or anything.

She's naturally just really fiesty and hard-headed. She started dressing conservatively after she got married.

Anyways, I understand my mom since she was raised in a different country where their mentality towards women is completely different. So I understand.

I will explain it to my mom with respect. And listen to her.
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