Hi, I call myself Ignatz after Dan Herriman's character in the old "Krazy Kat" comic strip. I'm 44, father of 3, husband to one, crazy about music and books and food and movies and history and martial arts. I've had some wild and crazy times in my life, and I figure I might as well put in some of my perspective.
I promise not to talk down to anyone or make fun,and I promise not to BS anyone. If you're old enough to ask a frank question, you're old enough to get a frank answer. Oh, and if you ask me a question directly, please be patient. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. My life's a bit hectic. :-)
Gender: Male
Location: St. Louis, MO
Occupation: Professional dad
Age: 44
Member Since: October 29, 2007
Answers: 328
Last Update: January 23, 2015
Visitors: 35642
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hey there. i'm 21/f and I feel like it's time to move out. I have come here several times to vent and get advice about how to deal with my family. they are extremely overprotective and have no respect for my privacy or my school work. I am in college and studying to be a kindergarten teacher. It's a very time consuming major, as most education majors would know. grant you, we don't have as many exams and things like that, but there are a lot of projects and things like that. At my house, people really have no respect for my school work.
My mom doesn't have a job. I'm not really sure what the deal is or if she even wants one. But, we live with my grandparents and she spends the majority of the day helping my grandmother with housework. I was working a lot. To the point that it was interfering with school and I felt myself getting really depressed because I really hated the job. I am now held back an entire semester because of all the stress. It feels like living at home is another job. When I get home, I don't relax. I don't have my own room. Everyone is always in there watching television, and messing up my things. I am not even exaggerating. I took pictures to show my therapist the messes that they have made in "my" area. I don't have a desk in my room. I've brought it to their attention several times. But, nothing gets done. They're just like: "go to the back room." There's no table in the house for me to sit in and just do my homework. There's always people over.
If I were to just go to school and focus on that, and not work, then I could finish the majority of my work in the library without a problem. But, the library closes and I'm working, then I really can't go to the library because the hours interfere with one another. Anyway, I hated my job and my boss was very abusive and got in trouble and I'd just rather find another job down the road. But, if I do start working, I'm going to need the dorm. Because, there's no way I can work and live at home. There's no place to do my work, there's no respect for my privacy. People walk into the bathroom while I'm in the bathroom, They have taken my clothes and put them in a huge pile of a mess. My mom and I argue all the time because she wants me to use my money towards getting fake nails, hair extensions, and a fake tan. It's just so much tension. So much tension. The other day, my phone was lost. Someone found it and I guess they called her because she's saved under Mom and that's the person they decided to call. She picked it up and spent the day reading through my text messages. There is no concept of privacy. It just doesn't exist. When I get home from work/school, it's like 9pm, and I feel more stress and more tension than I did at school/work. School is the most fun thing out of the three.
So, I thought the best solution would just be to get a dorm. I can find a job that I would like if I want to, after I get into the rhythm of the semester. But, I could actually do well in school, focus on what I have to do, and not argue. I just need the privacy more than anything.
But, here is the problem: I would need to take out a loan. So far, I haven't needed any loans. I have a full scholarship. So, I'm scared to take out the loan. I wouldn't have to pay it back until 6 months after graduation. That's the only thing holding me back. That, and that I'm scared. I guess it's normal. But, that's why I'm here. To get advice.
So, to dorm or not to dorm? I can't afford an apartment because I would need to pay 3 months in advance and they don't offer loans for that. So, that's not an option. Thank you.
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Definitely do the dorm. It puts you right in the life of the campus, closer to classes, and in contact with a diverse grouping of people. I'm still friends with people I met in my college dorm, and that was almost 20 years ago.
Take the loan, but be very careful. Check out the lender beforehand; ask about their risk management policies. What happens if you can't find a job after graduation? Can you defer the payment, or make partial payments? Do they resell the loans? (If they resell their loans, you might end up with a different company with entirely new debt collection terms.)
Also look into alternate sources of funding. Does your college offer work-study? Does your scholarship make you ineligible for Pell grants or Stafford loans? Are there any grants available for early-childhood studies?
Hope this helps, and good luck.
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Rating: 5
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thank you! that's very very smart! I hadn't even thought of those things because the loans would be given to me by the school. but, these are all important factors to look into. Thank you!!!
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