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1m 19 years old and ever since i was young my mums drank.When i was younger i thought it was normal i was never alowed to sleep over at friends or stay out to late because i had to allways look after my younger sister, i dressed myself and took myself to school since i was 7,and ive basicly looked after myself since i can remember,then i grew up and relised my mums not the same as evryone esles. she calls me horrible names and make me feel worthless, ive been at college for 3 years doing hairdressing i stayd on at school i done evrything right but she just dosent seem to ever be happy with me.i had a job and she forced me to leave because she said i could do better, iwasnt earing much money but she said if i didnt claim for job seekers allowence she would kik meout of the house.At the moment things are worse than ever, her habbits are worse and now that my older brother has moved back home shees took sides with him and acts asif im not ther,they drink together evryday & other things, i feel like even though im related im not from the same family ther from ,she hardly works and demands money of both of us and im only claiming job seekers allowence and struggle to live its so hard to get a job now ,i have a boyfriend who has seen alot the way my mum and brother treat me and he bareley sees me now because he dosnt like comeing down to my house he cart bare the way they act, its comeing between mine and my boyfriend and i crt cope anymore ive allways been scared to be on my own since i was small because of things that have happend when i was a child , i want to get a flat of my own then i can be out of ther ways and let them get on with life but im scared to live alone , my biyfriends got the perfect family and has evrything he wants he just dosent understand my situation because hees not used ot what im used to and i feel im allways running to him with my problems , im sorry this question was sooo liong but ive been searching for someone to relate to me or help me if anyone has advice it would realy help. thankyou .xx (link)
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I know it maybe hard to see because of what you're going through right now but look how far you've come? Whenever you needed to get something done you've done it such as getting yourself to school and taking care of your younger sister. I think its safe to say that your mother is an alcoholic. Alcoholics can't cope so they depend on alcoholic to numb that pain they are going through. Your mom maye have had a hard childhood or an experience that caused her to drink or to 'numb the pain away'. You have to know this has nothing to do with you this is her problem that she needs to fix. You also have to understand that she is sick, consider this as a disease. There is something you can do for yourself which is you can go to Al Anon. Al Anon is a group that meets together in communities to talk about what they are experiencing with someone they know that is drinking. Here is the website for the group and you can look at the website and maybe see if there are any meetings in your area:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Another thing you can do is to save up money or maybe move in with a friend. Do you have other family around that may be able to help you?
I also felt the need to comment on the comment you made about your boyfriend's 'perfect family'. There is no such thing as perfect! There might be thigns going on that you don't know about I'm sure it's not all that it seems.
Maybe instead of running to your boyfriend with problems do you have anyone else to talk to? Maybe a guidance counselor or maybe a therapist? I'm sure your boyfriend is supportine and will continue to be because he knows what's going on. Good luck and keep your head up!
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Rating: 5
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Thank you very much for your advice it was a big help.x
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