Member Since: August 30, 2011
Answers: 10
Last Update: September 8, 2011
Visitors: 1344
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Okay so lately me and my ex boyfriend(we are basically back together but I keep telling him no because my family or friends arent ready to accept him back into my life) have been growing kinda distant. Its not my doing and Ive been getting really emotional over it all. He just moved a few states away but weve done long distance for more than a year. Its like the more I try the less he does. He still says he loves me and wants to be with me for a really long time but im just not feeling the love really. He says its all in my head and nothing is wrong but I just dont know. For example, last night I tried talkiing to him about it and telling him that I was upset and asked if we should see other people. He was like do whatever you want. And I got upset and was like wow do you even care if I leave? And he said that he does and he still loves me but hes tired of me asking the same question over and over. But he doesnt call very much and barely texts me back. I know hes always been bad with the phone but we are back to long distance so he should be dying to talk to me like before. What Im scared of is pushing him away by being too clingy but I dont want him to forget about me either. If anyone knows a way that I could win over his heart again or feel better about this because maybe it really is in my head. I mean it is the first few days of him living away from home but when I first moved away last year I loved talking to him and telling him about my adventures.
Another problem is that I feel completely dependent on him. I really want to fix it. It might be the main reason we are fighting...because I keep wanting more and more. I just really want to be loved and feel like I still make him happy. Hes so focused on boxing and stuff that he seems to always be too tired for me. I know for a fact he isnt cheating on me because hes not the type at all. I really want to feel okay and not so freaking pathetic without him. Please someone help me and give me some good advice about all of this. I dont want to lose him but I dont want to keep being upset. (link)
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Ok so clearly you are feeling very insecure in this relationship. People being clingy can obviously be annoying BUT your BF seems like he could care less about helping you resolve any of your issues regarding your relationship. In my honest opinion if he really wanted to be with you he would do anything and everything within his power to ease your fears. All he has to do is call you and reply to your texts and he can't even do that? It sounds like you're always begging him to reassure you that everything is ok and he may TELL you that it is but he is doing nothing to prove it. Stability and to know that someone truly wants to be with you are not things you should constantly have question. But since you are, he should be going above and beyond to show you he loves you just as much as you love him. He sounds like a jerk and it kind of sounds like your willingly being his doormat. Considering that you said your family and friends aren't ready to except him back in their lives again sounds like they think he treats you like crap..? Just a guess. Being insecure is extremely unattractive and men especially don't like their women insecure. This might sound harsh but if you haven't already I feel like you may become that girl that no matter what he does to you or how badly he treats you, you still stick around. Girls like that usually become a joke amongst him and his buddies.
I know its hard but you need to stop! Stop calling, stop texting, stop everything. He'll start to wonder what you're up to. If you want him to miss you and make him realize what he has you need to give him the space to do so. Keep yourself busy to try to keep your mind off of him. If he really cares about you he'll reach out to you and if he doesn't then there's your answer. You do not need to beg for a man to give you the attention you deserve. The longer this goes on the more you're self esteem is going to dwindle away. I'm sorry about the novel I wrote you but I just really feel for you. You deserve better. Let me know how it goes.
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