lovealways1221's advice column

I'm just an average person. I love to help people out :) it makes me feel better about myself. I've been in a lot of situations so I can most likely relate to a lot of your problems. I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to about your problems, which is why i'm an advicenator. I'm ready to help people and be there for everyone who needs advice or just a companion to speak out to. I'm always here if you need me, don't hesitate to drop a question or even just a vent/rant note about a problem to my advice column inbox. I respond to all of them regardless of the topic. I'm upfront and abrupt about my answers and never sugarcoat. Take my advice or not, but i'm just doing my job :)

Played volleyball for over 10 years, also a coach. I love to try new things. Currently I'm trying the new sport of tennis and learning about my passion of photography.

advice

brain tumor-i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, we are close as can be and the perfect oppasites attract, oppasites in absolutly everything but we have the best time ever together bein stupid n playful our smiles just dont disappear. but his family has forbidded me to see him for two weeks so far. He was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor and they say he wont live past 40 and no clue when he may die..he acts just the same as always, all into sports and happy. the news crushed me though, i was in depression before it but now life just seems halted. i lost my aunt and baby cousin this summer too i just cant accept the chance of loosing him he is my absolute everything. i need help handling this for either of us? what to do to be in his arms again cause hes banned from me? i dont wana leave his side but i cant even be by his side, what do i do for or about anything im just lost? i can just curse at the sky and cry for days

Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry to hear this :( These kinds of news are never easy to handle.. but hey, we/I am here for you and I want to help. I've never lost anyone close to me before, but I've dealt with some issues in my life that I thought would be the end of the world for me. Nobody said life would be easy.. they just said it would be worth it. I'm not sure how old you are, but people tend to think that the world will end when something bad happens. For example- when I lied to my parents and they caught me and punished me for a long time, I thought the world was ending and I was so negative all the time. But what you need to realize is that life goes on. You can't stop life in its tracks. It will always be moving no matter what happens. Another thing you need to realize is that you need to take it 1 step at a time. I know its tough. One of my issues is that I tend to get overwhelmed when I look at ALL of my problems. But i'm learning to take it 1 step at a time. Conquer 1 problem at a time and eventually over time all of the problems will be gone. You can't solve everything over night. It will take time, patience, and effort.

Another thing you can do is let him know you're there for him no matter what. One time i was hospitalized. My friends came to visit me and got me gifts like flowers, teddy bears, get well cards. None of those things made me feel better.. the only thing that made me feel better was when my boyfriend held my hand and said he would always love me and always be there for me. Try doing that for your boyfriend. yes it is nice to get him some gifts, but most importantly just let him know how much he means to you.

It even harder that you can't be by his side. But you know what? Life is a giant obstacle course. Its a test to see how much you can handle. don't let 1 problem get in your way of figuring life out. Not being there by him physically is a little problem, but it shouldn't stop you from letting him know you're always there for him.

I'll leave you with 1 last thought. Life is tough. But its not about WHAT happened.... its about HOW you dealt with the situation. So instead of sitting there feeling all sorry.. stand up and take it 1 step at a time. Hold your head high, be brave, and know that any obstacle thrown at you is a test to see how much you can handle. Whenever I have a problem, I always tell myself this- "I am fearless. I am strong. I am courageous. I can overcome any obstacle in life. What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger"

Again, I'm so sorry to hear about this. I will pray for him to get better and for you too.

Edit** To cherish it.. there's not much you can do besides realize that everything happens for a reason and know that its life. You can't always control everything, and sometimes you just need to accept the fact and learn from it. Cherish him and the time you have with him, because one day it could be over, and you'll want to look back with happiness and no regrets. Embrace it.

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(Rating: 5) thanks i really need that :) but what do i do to cherish it

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