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I'm just an average person. I love to help people out :) it makes me feel better about myself. I've been in a lot of situations so I can most likely relate to a lot of your problems. I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to about your problems, which is why i'm an advicenator. I'm ready to help people and be there for everyone who needs advice or just a companion to speak out to. I'm always here if you need me, don't hesitate to drop a question or even just a vent/rant note about a problem to my advice column inbox. I respond to all of them regardless of the topic. I'm upfront and abrupt about my answers and never sugarcoat. Take my advice or not, but i'm just doing my job :)

Played volleyball for over 10 years, also a coach. I love to try new things. Currently I'm trying the new sport of tennis and learning about my passion of photography.

advice

When I was 12 my mother told me that she didnt know who my father was because she was raped. But there is a name on my birth cirtificate that my mother says is just an old friend who was nice and put his name on for me and I cant find that person anywhere then my mother told me last year when she lived in my house that my father was a nice guy and she only remembered his first name. how did he go from being a rapist to a nice guy who would never hurt her. She even went the extra mile to tell me that he was "afraid" when they had sex because he wanted to make sure she wanted it. How do I tell her that I know that she has been lying to me? How do I get her to tell me the truth? Why do you think she is lying? Why doesnt she think that I deserve to know my father and my children deserve to know their grandfather? I dont care if he wants to be in my life I just want to know if there is health problems I need to worry about. I would love for him to be there in my life but the choice is his. What do I do? Please help

hmm well try talking to someone other than your mom. does your mom have any siblings you could talk to them about? what about any cousins you have? neighbors? just ask around and try starting in the beginning like who were her serious boyfriends. I'm assuming she didn't marry your father because they aren't in contact anymore. so just ask around and see if you can find out if anybody knows her serious boyfriends.

Its your mothers decision to tell you the truth, and if she refuses to tell it to you, there's nothing you can really do about that.

Try sitting down with your mother and ask her to tell the truth. don't force her to or get angry at her. just plain and simple tell her its time for you to know the truth because you don't want to be living your life like a lie. If you're lucky, she might tell you. If she doesn't, relax and try again another time. There's not much to really do.

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(Rating: 5) thanks so much
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