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Firstly. We're both 17.
So my boyfriend had a party last night, and a couple of hours before he went he decided to call me. The call consisted of me asking him if he would please please skip any flirty, snuggly, huggly, kissy dares, because he had been very liberated about that, even when we're together.
His response was basically that there was something wrong with me, that I wasn't all right with that. That "no-one else seems to have that problem but you". Followed by "Why can't I be with you, AND have fun?"
I then asked him how he would feel if I had my lips pressed up against someone elses', and he said he wouldn't mind, which tore my heart out.
He kept repeating "I don't want to ruin everyone's night by chickening out of a dare just because I have a girlfriend", and "why does it have to be either A or B with you..hy does it matter if it wouldn't mean anything anyway."
I'm just very hurt right now, that he doesn't see kissing as a special thing that I only want to share with him, and he replies with "you've been with plenty of people and kissed them too." which is true but only before we got together.
I'm just extremely upset and hurt. Is this normal? Am I over-reacting?
I appreciate any advice/help.
Thank you
Kkytha
17/f/Aus (link)
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Surely, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I would be very hurt, as well.
First off, truth or dare is ALL about those kinds of things...so you should avoid the game in general, unless you want it to end on a bad note with your boyfriend.
The fact that he nonchalantly said he wouldn't care if you kissed another guy in front of him (whether or not if it meant anything), signals to me that he might not value your relationship. And if he is telling you he doesn't care if you kiss someone else, he could be doing the same thing to you, and you might not even know.
His reaction is very suspect and I, for one, absolutely would not trust him. Who knows what he could be doing to you? You need to have a serious sit-down talk with him about valueing your relationship as a couple (and no third parties, whether or not it's just truth or dare) OR maybe you need to walk away from him until he can mature and fully take on the responsibility of a relationship instead of being concerned solely on "truth or dare" which is very childish of him.
Don't let him turn this around on you. So you've dated other guys before and obviously you've kissed but not in a cheating fashion, so what? Your boyfriend is incompetent and he needs to change or you need to get our of your relationship, because it seems to me that he WILL cheat on you (in front of you or not) or HAS already.
You don't deserve this.
Best of luck and I hope I helped.
Jackieee
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Rating: 5
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He isn't really the type to cheat, but you have a brilliant point on the valuing relationships. He seems to chase after the affection of his friends over mine, hence doing stuff to please others that he knows will affect me.
I will definitely look into the valuing relationship idea. Thank you so much :)
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