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February 11, 2010Answers:
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JunieBazinet
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I'm just an average person. I love to help people out :) it makes me feel better about myself. I've been in a lot of situations so I can most likely relate to a lot of your problems. I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to about your problems, which is why i'm an advicenator. I'm ready to help people and be there for everyone who needs advice or just a companion to speak out to. I'm always here if you need me, don't hesitate to drop a question or even just a vent/rant note about a problem to my advice column inbox. I respond to all of them regardless of the topic. I'm upfront and abrupt about my answers and never sugarcoat. Take my advice or not, but i'm just doing my job :)Played volleyball for over 10 years, also a coach. I love to try new things. Currently I'm trying the new sport of tennis and learning about my passion of photography.
advice
is it normal or fair that your parents wont let you date when you are 17 years old? i have a boyfriend and he's in college now i don't know if i can even call him my boyfriend because my parents refuse to let me go out with him besides that i'm not allowed to go out anywhere not even with friends because they are so controlling i really like this guy and i'm afraid that he will drift away because i never see him what do i do in this situation?
thanks in advance
yeahh not gonna lie that is pretty controlling..
i would understand if they wouldn't let you date a college guy because college guys are rowdy and get in trouble a lot (drinking etc since they aren't legally a minor anymore)
but if they wont allow you to go out with friends.. then yah thats controlling in my opinion.
try getting on their good side. do some extra chores around the house, ask them if they need help with anything like walking the dog or washing the car or making dinner etc.
then just talk to them and ask them WHY they wont let you go out with friends. (btw its best to start with a light topic like going out with friends, rather than just jumping into the main problem about your boyfriend)
remember- dont be annoying or whiney. be mature about it. say something like "if i can do extra chores and help you guys out with your troubles, then can i go out with my friends more? extend curfew by an hour? get a bigger allowance? I feel mature enough to handle this and take on a bigger responsibility"
also you could say something like- "how am i supposed to be successful in life if you don't let me grow up and experience new things? (in a good way)"
it might also be a good idea to remind them that you won't get into trouble like smoking or drinking and that you will stay true to their rules like curfew times and such.
if they still say no, then cool off and take a break and then try to talk to them again after 24 hours. DO NOT talk to them about the issue earlier than 24 hours because that seems so annoying and like you're complaining etc.
baby steps haha dont forget to be mature about it
*EDIT*
well if you already talked to them and let other people talk to them.. then i guess there isn't much to do or say.. ultimately they ARE your parents. they technically overrule you until you are of legal adult age when you can move out. so if everything fails, just hold on 1 more year (you said you're 17?) and then when you're 18 you are legally an adult and can legally move out and live your own life :) regardless if they approve or disapprove of your choices, once your 18 you can legally leave them and do things your own way because its YOUR life not theirs.
inbox me if you have any more questions
(Rating: 5) thanks so much i appreciate it but i tried talking to them even let other people talk to them they just don't understand