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My brother-in-law moved in with us due to a divorce. He never cooked a meal, nor cleaned. He had my mother-in-law come so she could pick up after him and cook his meals. She started resenting the fact that I wasn't doing chores for my brother-in-law. She even demanded dinner when she'd return to the house with my brother-in-law. I told her I wasn't a cook nor a maid; that my priority was my husband, our relationship, our home and work. After she left, my brother-in-law's behavior deteriorated further and I told him to either get it together or to get out. He left. The guest bedroom was a mess and the bathroom was disgusting, feces all over the toilet seat, floor tiles blackened, stained. And although my husband agrees with me on all points, he hasn't stood up for me. His mother keeps calling, requesting this and that from him and she said nothing when told how her son left his filth in our home. Meanwhile my brother-in-law is "instructing" my husband not to release his e-mail address to me the same way his estranged is denied access to his e-mail info. I believe my husband should have told him that I was not interested in his e-mail info and that he should cease any attempts to issue orders with respect to me. So why is my husband being so complacent? Why isn't he setting boundaries and standing up for me, our relationship and our home? (link)
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Well I know from my own expierence that he probably doesnt want his relationship with his mother and brother to go to crap he loves them and that his family before he was married to you so he has more of a bond to them sorry to say not saying that he doesnt love you because if he agrees on your points then thats all that should matter I know it sucks because you want him to defend you but put the shoe on the other foot if this was the opposite situation would you do that to your mother and brother or sister??
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Rating: 1
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Yes, I would stand up for my huband in a heartbeat. Since I posted this question, I've spoken to two professional councellors on this very topic and both agreed that whether it is family members or not, the marital relationship and the preservation of that relationship comes first. What this means is that family members who disrespect the marital relationship or try to place themselves above that relationship need to be told what their boundaries are. My family understands boundaries when it comes to marital relationships and they have never disrespected my husband in any way. Since posting here, my husband has let his family know what the boundaries are and has made it clear that he expects them to respect those boundaries, our marriage, and our home which they won't be returning to any time soon.
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