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Q: Okay, im 17/f and my ex is 20/m. I dated him in 06' when I was 14 and he was 17. Two months of us dating I turned 15, so it was only a two year difference. We dated for 8 months. We broke up because his mom said we had two different maturity levels, and we needed to either break up, or get back together later on. I thought I was in love with him, and he said he was in love with me but everyone said I was too young to know what love is. When we broke up, he pinky promised me that on my graduation day in 2011, that he would propose to me. I believed him.


Every since then, I haven't had a real boyfriend since, its like my heart just doesn't feel like giving anyone an opportunity because I guess it finally found its home with him. During these last 3 years, I have seen my ex here and there. My parents got real attached to him, so he comes over to visit occasionally. I really believe my love for him is real. Everytime I see him, my heart drops, stops, and skips beats, and I get a little nervous inside. I only feel 100% normal and secure when he's hugging me, Im hearing his heartbeat, or he's just holding me. A few months ago, he came over and we sat in his truck, and he was bringing back old memories that I thought he would forget. It made me happy to know that he remembers EVERYTHING. He even remembers the promise he made me, and he also said that he's still in love with me, and after we broke up, he hasnt be able to be with anyone longer than 3 months. He cried to me, for the second time in our whole relatioship, just because he really missed me, and he missed the feeling of being able to be himself 100% and someone love him for it. He promised me that when Im legal (18) he will ask me back out, (therefore his mom can't trip about our age difference) and we can finally be happy again. I turn 18 on November 20th. He still remembers the proposal promise he made me 3 years ago, and he says he still plans to keep it.
He says Im the only girl he's ever been able to look at and his heart stops likes its the first time he's ever seen me.

Im just not too sure if his feelins are real, or if im to young to know what it is, but i do know the way I feel about him, isn't anything you feel for just a friend.
Bear with me this may start off weird:

I fell in love with Star Wars when I was 5. There was something about it that just captured my imagination. Seriously... I love that movie. L-O-V-E. So much that I actually kicked a girl out of my apartment when I showed it to her and she said it was dumb. (It was the "magical" 3rd date, and I knew if she didn't validate my obsession with the movie we wouldn't last)

Why am I telling you this? I believe you can fall in love with something at a young age. Love is a feeling, the strongest one we have. You know from dealing with a broken heart how much it can actually physically hurt you. The Trojan War was fought over a woman, and any story worth telling involves love of some sort.

I am also telling you my ridiculous admiration for SW because those movies captured my imagination as a kid. They always made me feel like I can be better than I was. Hopefully that is what he makes you feel like. There is a point when "love" goes from being physical to being an everyday thing. When you get comfortable with someone, that's when the lovey doveyness leaves and the real comes out.
It seems to me that the two of you can probably make it. You've been apart for awhile, you have a cute story... But you'll have to work at it to make it last. I think you should date him when you are "legal" (gee that sounds creepy) and I wish you well...
I would wait on the marriage thing. Go to college, and live life with him, decide what you really want to be when you "grow up" then when you graduate and you are "grown up" then you know the two of you have stood through every test.

As for me. I'm still waiting for that doe eyed senorita who will watch Star Wars movies and dance to the Ramones with me in my living room.

Good luck.

Thank you so much for your time! You advice was really good, and I liked how you didn't just come into advice, you used a really good situation along with it. Im not rushing marriage at all, its just the fact that if we really are going to get back together because im not too sure if he's lying or not. I guess only time with tell.

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TimothyDanger
Full time Jerk. Part time writer, adventurer.

I get drunk and answer your questions with the cold truth.

It saves lives.

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