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Member Since: June 1, 2010
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Last Update: June 5, 2010
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19/f
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 11 months now and I am so in love with him. We are very serious and I see an amazing future with him - but theres just one problem.
I's not that big of a deal but he has a little bit of a wandering eye. While I know he would never cheat on me, he constantly tells me which girls he thinks are "total babes" and which celebrities he would love to get with. I know this is normal, but it makes me uncomfortable and insecure. When we go to the beach, he stares at other women. Just the other day he took one of my lingerie catalogs and was drooling over the girls while I was sitting right next to him. When I get mad or upset about it he just laughs or blows me off.
And it's started to make me feel like I'm not enough, and that's why he looks elsewhere. I used to be very confident and outgoing but now I feel like if I were just skinnier or had bigger breasts that maybe I could keep his attention. Now I feel uncomfortable having him see me naked and he complains all the time. He gets frustrated because I won't stay naked after sex or strip for him.
I tried explaining to him why I've gotten so insecure and how him gawking at other girls bothers me but he laughed it off or changed the subject. It's embarassing, I don't know how else to go about it.
I realize he is portrayed in a negative light in this question but he really is amazingly sweet, caring, funny and and all-around great boyfriend. I know he's in love with me and I want to be with him but hate feeling this way. How can I solve this issue?
Thanks for all who reply.
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No relationship is perfect, all relationships have problems but you seem genuinely upset and stuck about this. You can't see that theres anything left for you to do. Tell him that its upsetting you to the point of you considering to end the relationship and ask him that if he is going to look at other girls (which is normal) that he does it while he isn't with you. Encourage him to go out with his mates, just a group of guys, to give him the opportunity to have a testosterone filled night and enjoy being a lad. Obviously, only do this if you trust him to stay faithful. But then after spending a night out with his boys, get him to spend a night just with you. If hes a good boyfriend like you say he is, he'll understand your problems and that you're upset. If he doesn't accept that it upsets you then think about yourself and how much longer you can be in a relationship like this. If you can't see yourself lasting long then end it so you can find someone that deserves you and considers your feelings. Good luck x
Hey I'm responding to your feedback :)
I think that you really don't seem happy in your relationship. The long distance must put a serious strain on your relationship and the lack of contact between you must be really hard for you to deal with. You seem like the type of person that needs a bit more attention than you're getting at the moment and from what you've told me, I think that you should seriously consider ending your relationship. I know it must be hard for you but I feel like the way you talk about him, you know that the relationship is coming to an end but you're trying to come to terms with it and get someone to convince you that actually you're being really silly and selfish. Well I don't think you are and I think that you must have loads of good things to say about him but for now, it's not working out. Maybe take a break if you really aren't sure? But otherwise, go out and find someone that meets all of your needs :) Good luck and I hope you find this helpful xx
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Rating: 5
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Thank you so much for the advice, it's the best yet. And I am hoping you respond to this feedback. We are in a long distance relationship, so he spends every night with his boys. That's why it's more upsetting because we see each other once a week (if we're lucky) and he still isn't completely focused on me. It just hurts whenever I hear it :/ What do you think?
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