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22/f here. My ex, Nathan, is 24, and my current, Kyle, is 28. This is gonna be a bit long...
I was with Nathan for about 4 years on and off. He was emotionally abusive, but I was addicted to him. Being in the mental health field, I know a lot about addiction and how to overcome it. I broke up with him. We ended things on good terms, but I asked him to let me initiate contact at some point in the future. He has broken this agreement many times already with e-mails telling me how much he loves and misses me.
Now, Kyle and I dated during an off-period with Nathan, but I ended it because I wasn't ready to walk away from Nathan, and I recognized that. I am now, though, and I did...right back into Kyle's arms. Kyle is a wonderful man, and makes me very happy (and is a very good kisser ^_^). I have no intention of leaving him anytime soon.
The problem here is that as much as Kyle denies it, I know I have yet to earn his trust back because of the fiasco that happened with Nathan before. I told him I would keep him in the loop if Nathan decided to try anything, and ideally, Kyle and I would discuss the situation and tackle it as a couple/unit instead of me trying to handle it alone. (I did, however, promise that I would never put them together in any physical way...)
My questions are:
1. Should I tell Kyle about Nathan's recent e-mails?
It risks bringing up a very negative past, and I don't want the focus of our relationship to be how to get Nathan out of it.
2. Should I respond to an e-mail and ask him to leave me alone?
I'm hesitant about this because I know how he works - any attention is better than no attention - but I also know that he doesn't give up easily. The only reason I'm consiering it is that I understand that, legally, if you tell someone to leave you alone and they don't, you can file harrassment charges. I'm not angry at Nathan, or anything, I just don't want him to make my life hell anymore...that's why I broke up with him. I am, however, prepared to take legal action if necessary to get him away from me. He hurt me many times in many ways that could've been seriously psychologially damaging.
Anyway. I apologize for the length of this question, and I'm aware that none of you are lawyers. I'm just looking for some unprofessional, uninvolved feedback on this situation. (link)
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To whom this may concern to. It sounds like you are stuck between two hard spots.You are a young person to be getting into a serious relationship.
I would not get in a hurry about having a full time boyfriend, and i would not go back to the guy that was very abusive to you either. That is not a good relationship. I would stay away from him and no don't answer his emails or how ever he trys to get in touch with you. And if you want to be a truthful person to this other guy then i would tell him. But only if you think that you know and trust him. To tell him these things. I would ask him where is this relationship going to before you open up and start telling him personal things in your life. Good luck.
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Rating: 3
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I appreciate your feedback, but I don't think I'm young to be getting into a serious relationship. I'm an old soul, and Kyle as opposed to Nathan is actually on my intellectual level. That wasn't my question. I'd really appreciate it if you took a second look and gave me feedback pertaining a little more to my question. I'd like to give you a higher rating.
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