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Ok so if someone tells me I should go google this question or summin since like a million girls have asked it before, just shhh.
Okay I seem to have this problem, like maybe it's biological or some kind of a scent that I give off then men smell and know to stay away but for some reason its just impossible for me to get a guy to like me on an emotional level where he wants to ask me out somewhere.
Over the past say... 3 years I've been in two long term relationships. One was for about 9 months and the second about 18 months. The 8 month one was my first 'real' relationship (after those piddly crush ones you have in your teens). It fell a part really unexpectantly and horribly with nothing I could do to prevent it, so that kind of scarred me. I had a best friend at the time who had been there like two years before that relationship and through my entire first big relationship. He helped me through it all and was the shoulder to cry on and yes like in all those cliche movies we ended up together.
I was absolutely head over heels for this guy but after almost a year we had to have a long term relationship as he moved away. I wanted it to work so badly I clung onto our relationship for dear life until 6 months later it ended horribly. I was so in love with him it took like half a year to get over him (even though i think a part of me will always love him but thats a different matter).
He remained my best friend but with school, different time zones and being so far away i saw him less and less and he became more and more distant (emotionally). Now I've been ready to get back into the dating game but no one wants me.
Guys talk to me, they walk past and start up a conversation and are really flirtatious and there's even this guy that walks by my work once or twice a week and always comes in to talk to me (and some how manages to put in the conversation that I'm pretty in some way or another). But none of these guys actually want to get to know me more or like me.
I started thinking this one guy might like me because (and it'll sound kinda lame) but he'd comment on like eeeevery one of my photos saying a compliment or just one of those :) faces, then he'd talk to me and be like "wow i've never met someone that has the same sense of humour as me", he even offered to do really nice and out-of-his-way things for me. Then, like with every other guy i think likes me, he always ends up liking another girl, and it always comes out in the same way. They always end up having a conversation with me where they talk about this girl they've met recently that they really like and want to go out with, then tell me its some other girl and i'm crushed but smile and tell them to go for it anyway. And right after all this happens they start dating the girl and i'm thrown to the side completely.
Why does this always happen? Am i just like that girl guys can be friends with but not anything more? I'm not a generally flirty person and I don't purposely act that way to a guy when i like him, i just get really giggly and smile a lot. I just wonder why they like these girls that they barely talk to or know but they dont even consider me. I'm starting to think I either have some mass personality defect or I'm hideous.
help? (link)
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you seem like a really nice girl so i really doubt that you have a defect and im sure your not hideous...love yourself before you love nayone else.
from the sounds of things its seems to me that your waiting for the guy to make the first move,your waiting soo long that you and the guy get into that friend stage where he starts to see you as his little sister.your waiting to long.
dont be afraid of asking a guy out.some guys think that its really sexy because oif you dont and you wait like your doing theyr going to think of you as a firend.
stop waiting for the guy to coem to you.if you want a bf then you have to do the hard work.if your sure about a guy and really like him dont take to long getting to know him and asking about his favourite colour or his star sign just get in there...ask him if he likes anyone,be flirtacious and show that you like him.maybe complement his eyes or say that hes sweet or cute BUT dont do it too much and dont look to desperate.ask him if he likes anyone and then hell tell you..if he says no or maybe and then asks you if you like anyone then tell him "what if i tolf you i MAYBE liked you?"and then hell tell you how he feels...stop living in "what ifs" and stop being scared...just take the risk and dont regret it because your a stronger person for doing it!
:)
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Rating: 5
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Thanks, you made me feel a lot better :)
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