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ok this is what happening
my parents are out with family friends, and they'll be back any minute so I need your help
heres some background
i volunteer on my cousins softball team (im 17, the girls are 15)
and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Allison, and we're going out for a while. We have a lot in common, sometimes i help her with her homework. I helped her on an english essay and she still got a C. This is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz
So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so I ask her to have sex
"no i cant its not right" she said but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"
So I gave her diddy kong racing and ken griffey jr baseball, and then she goes to my room. shes a bit confused and scared.
Then i think to myself - yo I need lube right? Cuz I hear you guys on TW saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.
Ok so I have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.
I don't know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smrat and please help me.
Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game? (link)
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Wow! I don't even know where to begin. I give everyone respect on this website, but what you did to this poor girl is so messed up in every way imaginable. You told this girl you'd give her 2 video games if she has sex with you? And you think that's ok? And then you burn her with got butter because you have no lube?
Guys like you should probably have their balls cut off, really. You have no respect for girls whatsoever and why she even wants to talk to you is such a mystery to me, because let me tell you, if I was her, I'd cut your nuts off myself. Grow up.
Haven't your parents taught you anything about respecting girls? People like you really put guys to shame. What you did was so sick and ridiculous, I don't know how you can sleep at night knowing what you did. You owe this girl a thousand apologies.
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Rating: 5
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I am sorry, I was so immature when I was on this site before. I am back now and I can't even believe I wrote this. It was a joke, honest. Thanks for taking the time to answer it, and I promise to answer some questions for people to make up for it!
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