della22's

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it's just too hard. i've wanted to kill myself for ages. i mean i remember standing in front of the mirror when i was seven and think how nice it would be if i was dead. this can't be normal. and aside from the fact that i am totally screwed up, i have no friends, no talent, no family. there is no one who loves me, and yes, i am sure of this, BELIEVE ME. see as well as being depressed, i have this thing. it's a form of escapsism, really. i basically pretend to live in a different life, soemtimes it a futrue i hope that i could have had if i didn't kill my self. but then it like reality hits and it all comes crashing down. i know it not healthy, but can't i just live in my world? at least im happy there. i know i have to face reality, and postphoning my inevitable suicide, is pointless, but i just like it there. it makes me think that im normal, though, obviously im not. im not on here, because, 'obviously im just crying out for attention, and i don't really want to kill my self', so don't bother with that crap, i know, i've given advice to people as well okay. and don't say that someone must love me, or there's soemthing i must look forward to. even my fasasies are way too exetreme to be possible. the advice i want is simple,( and answer honestly, because either way, i WILL DIE, so deal with it): should i fantasise more and commit suicide, just a tiny bit more happier, or should i just kill my self, and spare myself any more pain? please, don't be stupid or naiive about this. i don't care about god. i don't care about the right to live, i don't care about thereapy. i just came on here for some advice. and if you do try and give me some crap rather than answer it, then thanks a lot. you should just let me suffer by myself, rather than mislead me. it not like im not trying hard enough to get by as it is, okay?

id fantasize. mine as well enjoy yourself before you go. and most people have some form of escapism. its called day dreaming.


you should really get some medication though. happy pills, something. there is something wrong with you and its called depression. alot of people have it, and its treatable.

good luck with this. and good bye if you decided to leave us. i hope your last thought is at least a happy one.

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