Member Since: September 29, 2009
Answers: 29
Last Update: October 14, 2009
Visitors: 3028
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For weeks I have been iffy about even writing this.
I am young 18 and just got married in August. I am pregnant that is not why we got married but I think we rushed into it. We were planning the wedding already had my wedding dress before i found out I was Pregnant.
Sometimes I find myself regretting getting marred My reasons. I wanted to work days and go to school nights. It would be tough but id be able to better myself for me and my family he through a fit and didnt support me at all. told me either work or go to school but advises me to work because we need the money. Being pregnant I have my mood swings like most if we have an argument its all my fault he will yell at me and blame me then make me feel guilty by saying oh its always all my fault i forgot your so perfect. sometimes he makes im crap. If i feel nauses or sick at night or anything and he wants sex he pouts and acts like he is mad by not saying a workd until he gets it then goes to sleep. he goes hunting, fishing, baseball teams and tournaments etc. anything he wants and i dont argue about it i just let him.
I have asked a million times to look harder for a job. he works 2 days aweek at a sale barn doing something he likes i work full time on my swallon feet 40+ hours a week and come home exhausted and tired. its like he dont care he doesnt want to even try to look he put an app. in at burgerking one app.. in 5 weeks? we live at my dads. which i dont feel is save but dont have a choice. hes lazy
and to top it off he always wants to spend money. i used to get food stamps which just stopped but hed want a gallon of tea every 2 days. go out and buy food he wants all the time because hes to lazy to cook one thing or wait for it to get done. as soon as he gets paid he goes and spends most of the money on garbage food and gets mad when i tell him i dont want it id rather eat food i cook at home.
I love my husband to death trust me and want to work things out but i dont know what to do i talk to him about it and itslike it is in one ear and out the other. (link)
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I clearly hear what you are saying when you state that you want him to spend time with you or to possibly invite you to any events or gatherings he is attending.
This is what I tell my friends...Think about the way your relationship was when you first met the man you are with.
Were you together all the time? Did you always invite you to all gatherings and events that he attended? Did you spend more time with your friends as well? What interactions did you actually have? Was your relationship based on sexual intimacy and time alone then he would run off to see the guys? Think long and hard about all those questions...Please think about the way it was before you conceived your child and that will answer why he is the way he is today.
He probably hasnt changed very much and you have. You had to change because you are now pregnant. Unfortunately we dont always grow up because we are having a child. If you just happened to get pregnant then you have to realize this wasnt planned and nothing about this man has changed.
How many times do you actually converse and not bicker? Its hard because the pressure of having a baby is extreme and when someone that cannot provide has to have someone always being critical of them is hard.
Trust me Im not trying to bash you. I think your great just very young and possibly demanding something you didnt have before. People dont change just because they are having a baby. Men dont fall in love with you because of all the wrong reasons.
So please take some time and write all your feelings down. Write what really bothers you down and read it over and over. Then after you read it to yourself start to think if all those things really matter right now.
Write down things you want in your life and see that whether you have a man in your life or not if it makes a difference. You can be successful all on your own. Does it help if the father is in this childs life, yes but you cant force someone to do something they arent ready for.
Sit down and have some fun with your partner and dont fight. Talk and enjoy eachother. Be positive and remind eachother of all the wonderful reasons you are together. Remember and remind eachother of fun times. But try your best to communicate in a manner that he can handle.
Lots of luck to you...
I had my daughter when I was 15 and I clearly understand the stress of being alone. But I chose to and I was ok...I am almost 40 now and I can tell you that sometimes we may think we are doing everything right at that age and we arent...Not only is your boyfriend doing things wrong but you as well. Instead of handling it negatively and making him your enemy try to be on the same page with him.
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Rating: 4
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i understand where you are going with this but its not that i dont like my husband enjoying what he enjoys its id like him to enjoy them while he supported his family a little.
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