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Q: 17/f
My parents are really being unreasonable. They refuse to approve of my boyfriend because he's not from the same group of people as us. He's puerto rican and my parents dislike him because of the reputation they carry but what upsets me the most is they are judging too quickly.. They haven't even met him in person to be making judgements. And my father refuses to allow me to go out with him anymore. This isn't the only thing they dislike about him.. He's 18 but could pass as a 20 yr old and my parents claim that if I bring him over the house there going to ask for I.d to prove his age its completely nonsense !! I just don't know what to do anymore I refuse to bring him over because I don't want them to scare him away and I don't want to tell him about this because it'll really upset him.. I don't want my parents choosing who I date or telling me who I can go out with ...
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News flash: your parents are not being "unreasonable". If your boyfriend looks like a 20 year old person OF COURSE they are going to be concerned. I'm concerned reading about it!
Race is a handy cover excuse for the issue. If they are in face racist, then that sucks... and you can either go ahead with the relationship behind their back or in defiance of them (good luck with that) or move out. They're still your parents.
However, it may be that they have run up against or heard about some negative experiences with Puerto Ricans, and are now judging ALL by the actions of SOME. The best way to combat that is to invite your boyfriend over for a meet and greet or to have him pick you up for a group date.... that way they can see what a nice young man he is.
I can tell you that your attitude of "my parents can't tell me what to do" makes you come across as immature. So, it may be best to improve your actions and thoughts towards your family. Instead of looking at it as "how dare they!?!" try looking at it as "they really DO care about me." Because if I can read what you wrote as "defiant and immature" then I'm guessing you've acted that way towards them... and one of the signs of a physical abuser is exactly that kind of change it produces in the victim. Now, don't get your knickers in a twist: I'm not saying your guy is an abuser. But I AM saying that this may be a concern for your parents, and something you really need to look at honestly.
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You mustve not read it right.
1. They haven't met him or seen him
2. I wouldn't go out with someone who lookz old enough to be my father
Thankz.
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Info
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Gender: Female Occupation: being totally awesome Age: 28 Member Since: September 6, 2009 Answers: 30 Last Update: August 23, 2011 Visitors: 3501
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