Alright. So I'm a 16/F and this is what happened. My boyfriend and I were at a party the other night and we ran into trouble. There was this one other guy there (we'll call him J) and so J, me, and this other girl were just chilling on the couch while my boyfriend was off playing pool or something. So J takes my hand and starts leading me away from the couch and I'm just kind of like okayyy... because I mean, I didn't really know this kid too well but I was just like whatever, he probably just wants to get some food or something. Well he starts taking me back towards this room and I stop outside the door and I'm like "What are you doing?" and J says, "Come in here with me." I started babling like an idiot "What? No, my boyfriend- I- huh?- why?" and he leaned in real close, put his hand on like the small of my back (because I was trying to back away) and whispered "It'll be fun just come on." Weeeell, as you can guess, this looks a little shady. I mean, this guy is still holding my hand, he's whispering in my ear, got his hand on my back, and we're standing in the doorway of a dark room. Which is GREAT timing for my boyfriend to look over and see us. So my bf storms over and he's like "What the he** are you doing?" And I had already pulled away from J but J shoves me behind him and is all like "What's your problem, dude? I'm a little busy right now." Ha, yeah, let's just say that REALLLY pissed my bf off. He gets all up J's face and says "Yeah, with MY girlfriend. Now get the f*$@ away." Well, I myself would walk away right about now, but J's got the doorway blocked so I'm kind of just standing there like a worthless bag of poo, trying to get out when, oh goody, J makes it worse and said something like "Well your girlfriend is obviously a slu* if she was about to come in her with me" and before I could say "I wasn't going in there with you!!", my bf punched J in the face. They start getting into it right there, and a few other guys pull em off of eachother. They both got a little beat up, and the girl throwing the party got all pissed and was like "Get out of here!" So yeah. We got kicked out of the party... I felt HORRIBLE. I mean, like, I just felt so bad. I know I wasn't the one getting into the fight, but I just felt really guilty. Not for getting kicked out of the party but because my bf had like a blackeye and gosh, I just feel horrible, I feel like its all my fault. I mean, like jeez. I apologized like a million times to him, and his parents because they were all "What happened!?!" and ugh. I just feel so bad. My bf says its no big deal and he doesn't get why I feel so guilty but he got hurt and I feel like its my fault. What can I do to make it up to him? Am I being stupid for feeling like this?
Well, you definitely could have handled the situation better right off the bat. If I was at a party with my boyfriend and a guy grabbed my hand period, I would pull my hand away, tell him I have a boyfriend and walk away. You shouldn't have let him lead you all the way to the entrance of an empty room. You probably just got nervous or something, but for future reference, things like that can be avoided if you stand your ground right off the bat before things get weird.
In the meantime, it sounds like your boyfriend's going to be fine. Yeah, he has a black eye, but that will clear up within a week and all will be well again. It's not technically your fault that they got into a fight because your boyfriend is the one that threw a punch, but as I said, that all could have been avoided.
Your boyfriend has already said that it's no big deal, so I'd just let it die away. Don't keep bringing it up. You can ask him how he feels tomorrow or whatever, but just leave it alone after that.
You should go out and see a movie or go to dinner tomorrow. That will make things less weird then if you just didn't talk about it for a week, then tried to hang out again. If there's a movie out that you know he wants to see, ask him if he wants to go with you. If dinner and a movie isn't your thing, take him for a walk somewhere quiet and romantic. A beach, lake, the park; depends where you live and what's around. Or if there's a location that you know he likes to hang out that he doesn't get to go to very often, offer to go there with him. The whole thing will blow over, just don't be weird about it and bring it up all the time.
Darby(:
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(Rating: 5)
Thanks! What was wrong with the hand thing? My freinds and I grab eachothers hands all the time. If you want someone to come with you to change a song or see a picture, you just take their hand and go, I don't really think its a big deal. The only reason I was a little taken aback when J did it was because we weren't exactly like friends I guess. But I don't know, my guy friends and I do that, my girl friends and I do that, its never been a big thing. But thank you for you other advice.
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