I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
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im 17 years old and 5 weeks pregnant.
my boyfriends family wants me to get an abortion.
my family doesnt want me to get an abortion.
i don't want an abortion.
my boyfriends family are saying if i keep the baby then he has to move out and there disowning him.
i feel guilty.
i dont know what to do.
adoption ISNT an option.
hes scared and doesnt think were ready, i don't either but happened.
he's worried hes going to have to sell everything and not have a life or go to any parties anymore.
How do i convince him that he can still have a life? and how do i convince him that abortion isnt the right option? how can i make him see that there is a life, part of him inside me and we shouldn't kill it just because we made a mistake?
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At this point, your boyfriend is low on the totem pole. Your needs and your baby's needs are a much higher priority than his. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be cold hearted. I can see why you would feel upset - no one wants someone they care about to go through anything unsettling.
But it's not very sensitive of him to worry about parties and his life when YOU are the one carrying the baby and making a very difficult decision. You sound quite clear that you do not want an abortion, so your first steps should be to see your doctor to make sure you are getting good care and medical advice from early on in your pregnancy.
While your boyfriend and his family have a right to their opinion, ultimately you need to do what you feel is best. It is good that your family are supporting you - having a baby is very, very diffcult and with family support it can be more manageable.
Instead of you worrying about how to help other people out at this point, other people should be worrying about what they can do for YOU!
If your decision is made, you need to be clear with your boyfriend. His family may also backdown a little once they realise your mind is made up - after all, he is their son. If you are not being clear about your wishes, they may feel they still have room to pressure him and yourself.
I know it's not easy, but try to stay as calm as possible. Everything you now do affects a little baby who is completely dependent on you.
Please let me know if you need further info. I wish you all the best.
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