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17f.We broke up about a week ago, but I couldn't stand to be apart from him, and he has openly said that he would want to get back together. The reason I left the relationship is because I have a deep rooted fear of commitment among other things (he does drugs, smokes, drinks, and is often gloomy and down). So we continued to be friends as if nothing had happened, meanwhile trying to forget what we had been through. But I don't think it ever really ended, because everytime i see him and am around him there is something there that makes me want to be with him. But I keep trying to convince myself that I can't be with him because I don't want to. And that is half true because when we broke up, I definitely thought it was over for good. I told him that I have commitment issues and that perhaps one day i will get over them and be a different person. When we were dating I acted completely distant towards him, yet now outside of the relationship I act so close to him. So today we went to a movie and there was some hand holding involved and now I feel terrible. I don't know how to handle this. I don't know what I want...I don't want us to get hurt again...:( (link)
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i see what you're going through. there was a guy i dated forever and then it ended but we still stayed close but then ended up kissing and stuff and i didn't know what to do. so what i would say is you obviously still feel something but you have that fear. and i think your fear is because you think hes going to hurt you. so you should say i don't like the things you do and i can't be around that, so if you really care you would stop and then we could be good. that would show what kind of person he really is. now thats if you want to be with him.
if you decide that you can't its not going to work then you have to stay away for awhile. not forever but enough to make sure your feelings for him as something other than a friend are gone.
do what you know will make you happy.
thats what is most important.
good luck.
:]
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Rating: 5
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Seriously, thank you very much. I actually ended up thinking it through very carefully this weekend and I came to the conclusion that my problem IS fear. I thought about why I like him and realized that I love being around him and just talking to him. I was so caught up in not messing up and not getting hurt and what other people thought that I completely forgot the reason why I was with him. So I talked to him and told him that his issues with drugs really bother me because I want what is best for him. He agreed to try to quit and then I told him that I want to try this again. So today is our first day being back together and I know I did the right thing because this is what I want. So thank you :)
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