Member Since: February 25, 2009
Answers: 131
Last Update: April 8, 2009
Visitors: 8078
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f/16
I think I'm a lesbian and I'm not too sure of how I should break it to my family and friends. Lets be honest I'm petrified. Not too worried about my family but my friends I'm very scared about telling, considering most of them are girls and will probably be scared away from me. Can someone please give me some advice on how I should break the news without all my friends running a mile. I need to get it out soon or I think I might just die with worry. (link)
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Honestly - I think HS is too soon to declare your sexual orientation. Not because you are too young to know your own sexual orientation - because you are old enough. But because the majority of people in HS don't have the maturity or experience to understand, and they can potentially make an already hellish time in your life, more unbearable.
You started your sentence with "I think I'm a lesbian" vs "I'm a lesbian". That tells me you may not be too comfortable with the concept/realization yourself ... If you are not at a place where you are comfortable, how are you going to help your friends/family understand and accept your understanding of who you are?
I agree. You need to release this knowledge, talk it through, take steps in understanding yourself and letting people that love you really know who you are. If your parents share a loving and accepting relationship with you now, that will not change. They will love you regardless. Your parents resist the knowledge at first. They may even take this sliver of doubt and fear as a door to the possibility that your are 'not' a lesbian. Not necessarily because they will disapprove, but because life can be SO much more complicated initially with all the prejudices against homosexuality ... we are still in an age where homosexuality rights are being fought for and voted for. Your parents will be concerned/scared for you.
As far as your 16yo girl friends... and the HS population at large: honestly, it is none of their business what your sexual orientation is. Once you tell people of this age you are gay, they quit seeing you,and see a lesbian.
Yes, all your friends will recount the time they were naked, showering, changing, sleeping, or just hanging out with you and will analyze with fear if you were attracted to them. So be prepared for some to shy away, and for some to be curious and ask questions. Some will not give you a chance to explain and just disappear. Some will be nosy and feed upon the drama of it. Some will say, "so?"
Hopefully, those people who DO understand at HS will step forward to support you- but expect to never be treated the same by the majority of the HS population.
College life is much more open minded and inclusive. You will be older, wiser, more mature and able to handle people that aren't. With the exception of your family, I think that is a better time in your life to 'come out'.
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Rating: 5
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thanks, your right. I do need a bit more time for myself to think this through, and I should probably wait for a better time to tell everyone. I just needed to get it off my chest and get someones thoughts on it. you've been really helpful thankyou x
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