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14/F My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 months now. In the beginning I was so happy but gradually I started to lose my feelings for him, especially once school started again. Most of the time its a chore to talk on the phone every night and I'm just not happy. The only problem is that he's still completely smitten. He's constantly telling me he loves me and how much I mean to him and how he's so afraid to lose me. He doesn't have very good friends and besides video games not many hobbies. Basically, I'm a huge part of his life. I know I have to do this for myself but its going to hurt me so much to do this to him. I still care about him just not in the same way. We barely see each other outside of school and when we do he comes over my house. I've never even been to his. How can I breakup with him in person and make this as gentle as possible? Also, we have a semi-formal coming up in a few weeks and for Valentines part of my gift to him was a tie that matches my brand new dress I just bought. This may be a little awkward? I don't know please help. :( Thank you so much.

First, you might as well go ahead and do the formal thing if you can make it that long. Second, the worst thing you can possibly do, once you finally make the decision to break up, is be wishy-washy about it. You can't go back with him because you feel bad, or try to be his friend because it will lead him into believing that he has a ray of hope getting back together. the best thing to do is to simply say it as plainly as you can. It may be difficult, because when you explain to him that you don't feel as if you have anything in common, he may try to negotiate by saying he will try to do different things, etc. You can even tell him that the scariest part of the whole thing is that he seems to love you more than anything else, and the responsability of his happiness is overwhelming to you. You just want to enjoy your teenaged life. It may sound a little cruel, because then it is almost as if you are turning it around on him, but I have the feeling that he is going to try to search for a reason, then promise to fix it, so be firm, and don't allow him to guilt you into staying with him. Don't let him think in time you may change your mind, anything you do to try to break the hurt may end up leading him on in the long run. If it does turn out that you miss him, don't do anything rash, because these kind of feelings are common. Really take the time to explore, first. Good luck, you're obviously a very smart and caring person.

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(Rating: 5) Thanks so much for your help. I broke up with him last night and I'm so relieved. He wasn't even angry and after we get over everything in a few weeks we're still gonna be friends.
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