Member Since: February 25, 2009
Answers: 131
Last Update: April 8, 2009
Visitors: 8085
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18 female.
so i have some trust issues. never had a boyfriend. but i seriously love my best friend nick. we've had SO much chemistry between each other but the thing is he recently broke things off with his girlfriend of two and a half years. he treats me different than he treats other girls. we've only kissed once and it was just a quick little peck. we're really attracted to each other but i'm still skeptical of his "ex" girlfriend because he says their still good friends and still talk since they did go out for so long and they were each others first loves. i just don't know when he tries to get with me, is he doing it because he likes me or because he just wants to be friends with benefits? is there a way to tell? we're both busy people so it's not like i get to see him very much but when i do he always asks whats new with me, he wants to know ANYTHING thats going on with me, and gets upset and says "you never tell me anything anymore!" i just don't know. i'm not a good communicator either, so asking him if he just wants to use me or really likes me would be awkward. we've been good friends for about four years now, maybe even longer. (link)
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I think I may have missed something. What benefits? You have shared one kiss and it was a peck ... right?
'Friends with benefits' usually means sexual activity on some level - not just genuine interest (how are you, how was your day, what are you up to, wanna hang out)?
I don't see where he is trying to use you. It sounds like you two have been great friends for a while, and you are still great friends. Maybe you even have more time together because he broke up with someone he was in a long term relationship with, and is free to hang out more.
I say just keep doing what you are doing and see where it goes. You DO have to open up and communicate or any potential relationship you have is eventually doomed. Issues come up that KILL a relationship if they aren't worked out.
Also, listen to your inner voice. Something is telling you he isn't 'done' with the break-up and his ex. On some level he is still hanging on there. That mess has to be cleaned up before there is real room for you two as a couple. He is used to 'having someone' to talk to, go out with, to hang around. Be careful that you aren't his 'rebound' girlfriend.
Until you have a sense of security and honesty in his feeling for you, keep things uncomplicated and friendly. You have known him for 4 years as a good friend. I bet you know him well enough to know when it is 'right' to move forward.
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Rating: 5
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thank you! i did miss something. he's always wanted to go down my pants, but i always stop him because its something i'm not comfortable with. he says he wants me, wants to have sex with me but i'm still a virgin. he lost his virginity to his ex girlfriend that he went out with for 2 and a half years. they still hangout. it KILLS me..
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