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:)
JP
Gender: Female
Age: 16
Member Since: February 23, 2009
Answers: 27
Last Update: March 1, 2009
Visitors: 3563
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I'm 18/f and a college freshman.
I dated this boy on and off throughout high school, and we were still great friends when our relationship ended this past summer. He had been in a really bad, near fatal car wreck last March, but he was recovering and doing more than the doctors ever said he could.
I found out last Thursday afternoon that he had committed suicide last Wednesday night (he had ODd on his pain pills and they found a near empty bottle of everclear next to his bed). I still don't believe it was suicide... I mean, that's what they're saying, but I know him so well and just can't bring myself to believe it... he must have just been in a lot of pain.. IDK.. I guess it was suicide... Anyway, I've been really incredibly angry that he would do that (suicide or not... all those pills and alcohol!) to me, his mom, and his cousin - the three people who loved him most - not to mention any other friends.
A few years ago, his half sister was killed from drinking and driving, and I can't seem to bring myself to think that he would leave his mom all alone...
Rather than making me sad, I'm just .. pissed off that he would do this - leave us all here to wonder why and to pick up the pieces all over again. I'm even more pissed that he's left me here to deal with his sisters death all by myself (her and I were BEST friends, and I blamed myself for her death)...
Anyway... am I crazy for being so angry with him?! I mean, of course I'm sad that he's gone, but my anger is overpowering every other feeling I have... (link)
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I'm sorry for your losses.
but you're not crazy for being angry. any would be, as well as confused.
just remember, neither death had anything to do with anything you did, and that, even if you still feel that way, his mom could really use a friend now, someone who could tell her things that maybe she didn't know.
Good luck.
JP
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