about

I joined this site when I was very young (hence the ridiculous username) but now I feel I'mn old enough to give out advice.

Ask me anytime. I have had my fair shares of family issues, as well as good at solving relationship problems.

advice

ok so... i'm not like a perfect kid or anything but I'm not a bad one either. I'm 18 years old and I don't drink, do drugs, have sex, nothing. I never have and I don't plan on it. My 15 year old sister on the other hand has been mixed up in just about everything. She even got a tattoo and tried hiding it forever. My mom used to get on her so hard when she knew she was getting high and stuff. It took a huge turn at some point and I just don't know where. She keeps everything about my sister from my dad and it makes me so frustrated. My sister has this 19 year old boyfriend we'll call Dustin. Dustin in 19 years old and a loser. He doesn't have a job or anything. My sister would say she was staying and then go to his house instead.. at first my mom cared and then she just like stopped. she would tell me and my dad she was at her friends when I knew the truth... and thennnn she had the audacity to let him stay here at our house. Well... about 2 weeks later guess who's pregnant.. yep.. my sister. They think they're ready to "have a family".. how can they have a family when neither one has a job or any source of support besides my parents. Dustin is in and out of jail and it disgusts me. My dad goes to sleep every night at about 8:30 and around 945 or so my mom goes to get her from Dustins and guess who has been coming with her every single night?! I know it shouldn't be my problem but it is. I don't feel comfortable in my own house an I get so stressed from having to keep it from my dad. Whenever I try to tell my mom how I feel it turns into how "I think i'm so perfect and how I build off of her screw ups" My mom always makes it sound like i'm a bad kid and i'm tired of it. I am such a good kid compared to her.. and not because I want to be better than her, it's because I respect myself...... please help me, I would appreicate it so much .

I know all about this trust me but to tell you the truth your sister and dustin (yes are being stupid) but it will be very rare that they change their mind in wanting to start a family.

From my experiences I know the more you guys think badly against them, the more they will rebel to have this family.

Never lie to your dad - it isnt your duty too, and it isn't fair. Don't be afraid for not telling your dad because at the end of day your mum can punish you - but since she has kept it from your dad- he won't punish you, therefore you won't get into trouble. Honesty is the best policy.

I know how you feel, and your sister and dustin will probabrly have this baby (unless she freaks out because she is emotionally too young to handle the fact she is pregnant) but what I would do is ACCEPT the fact she is pregnant, she has a boyfriend and even if you don't feel it, try to be cool with it. Dustin would feel more welcome, and might step up to be a good man/father if he had the encouragement from his girlfriend's father.

Your sister is too young to see that some things don't last forever and there is a chance he will leave her. They always put their dicks before the head - its just a common fact. As a sister, tell her you accept this desicion, give her the support she needs, let her know what changes like ahead (ie - getting fatter etc - the things teens think about ) You sound like a good person and its not fair you get shouted out more, or told off more but you sister puts your mum in such a bad mood, your mum needs support - she cant tell your dad, and she knows that you know - so she'll take it out on you because she thinks you'll "understand"

Tell your mum if she upsets you, that you're just trying to make her happy, and it would be nice if you could just have her to talk to about stuff. Parents are usually more than happy to have their child talk to them.

About dustin staying over, you should never feel unconfortable. I'd tell your dad about this situtation about him staying over. I think he'll understand more really - the fact that he's got his hands on his daughter. But as much as you have tried your best, I would try to make Dustin accepted and then tell your family you feel a bit unconfortable in your own home and that it would be nice not to have guests around all the time so you can relax a bit.

Your sister and dustin will never change.She's emotionally immature and Dustin half the time is in power over her. All you can do is accept and never be suprised about what is yet to come. Always tell your dad the truth, and tell your mum you'd like to talk to her about stuff, or ask her if you can spend quality time with her - you never know until you TRY. But also being kind to Dustin and letting him know how you feel is another way too.

I'm not promising things will go your way, because I'm going through this stuff to right now, and it's going to stress you out but what you need is your own space and someone to talk too - maybe your dad or a friend. You'll feel more confortable about the situation goes on trust me. You grow fed up and familiar to it.

I hoped I helped, I may be just telling you what you already know, if so, it just goes to show there isnt much you can do, but I hope you can

Sadie

[view]

(Rating: 5) thank you so much sadie. I really needed to hear all of that right now. it just puts me in a really bad place and I don't like it. Last night my mom and I talked about it and in the end she said things are going to get worse before they get better... so i guess I just sit back and let it all pan out. thanks ag ain!
<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker