I am a mother of 2 small kids and I love it. I have however noticed over several years now that alot of people I know come to me for advice, so Im wanting to see if I have what it takes as an advice comlumnist. Maybe add something new to my ever expanding list of things I can do. I hope that I am as useful to you as I have been to my friends.
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio
Occupation: Mother, wife, server
Age: 27
Yahoo: csmith4428
Member Since: January 4, 2009
Answers: 8
Last Update: January 8, 2009
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I am 17, My son's bio father is 18 (John), My fiance is 19 (Nate) and my son is 2.
I am going to first list the reasons why my son's bio father isn't allowed to see him.
*When my son was a baby baby he never woke up with him in the middle of the night he just ignored him.
*I have a police report filled against my sons fathers father for saying he was going to preform a sexual act on my son.
*My sons father made the same comment and called him a BAS****
*We had an agreement of him seeing the baby every other weekend and him helping pay for diapers and milk, etc. and two months came around he never helped at all i was providing food and milk for my son.
*He brought him to my house after the weekend, snot running down his face, his feet were black and he was all sticky. thats when i drew the line. and stopped letting him over there.
*he tried to have his sisters jump me and take the baby the police told me to move so now instead of ohio im in missouri.
Which now he wants something to do with him son and trys to call my phone etc.
I am engaged and when married i want my son to have my fiances middle and last name.
I dont have regrets but is my reasons good enough reasons to why i am doing this to better my son. thank you for your advice!
PS. my fiance raises my son as if he is his own child, plays with him, feeds, changes him, calls him son, etc. (link)
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I personally think that every child should have his/her biological parents in their life, only because of what I went through with mine. Eventually growing up your going to have to face the fact that your fiance isn't his biological father. I completely understand why you want to do what you want to do, a dead beat father is the worst. The only way that your going to be able to do this right now is by changing your number (so baby daddy can't call you) and then legally changing your sons name. Now if your baby daddy isn't on the birth certificate you can have your fiance adopt your son which makes things a little easier, if he is on the birth certificate, your gonna have to get him to sign his rights away. When it comes to kids and their parents its a very sticky situation. I know you want whats best for your son and I can also tell that you have tried with his father and at some point realized that it wasn't best for your son to be in his fathers life. I want you to know that this is a person who your son will eventually want to get to know on his own, and when that happens you have to let him make the decision for himself. For now its wonderful your putting him first. I would also suggest being completely honest with your son about the situation while he is growing up, please please please, don't bad mouth his father just explain to him what happened and why you chose to do what you did. That way your not hiding anything from him, and he wont have a reason to resent you (not saying he will, just talking from personal experience) Good luck, hope everything works out for you and your son.
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Rating: 5
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thank you and yeah i was planning on telling him the truth the whole story when he is able to understand.
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