I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.
I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.
I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).
I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.
Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.
Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.
Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
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Ok i don't know what is wrong with me. But over the past 2 years i find myself cutting down on -or limiting- the types and amount of books and movies i read and watch. I am even starting to lock my self home because i can't stand the fact that i can't do what people are doing (people i don't know like renowned anthropologist or astronauts or so on...) I mean now i only read my text books or watch documentaries or "informative" shows that i could analyzed or extract meaning or a moral out of it without having to endure through the backdrop love story or adventure.... to elaborate...
my cousin begged me to go see twilight with her this past weekend. so being nice i went. I never read the book (for the reasons i stated) and have no prior attachments or knowledge of the story beforehand. after watching it i felt ok... it was an ok movie... a couple hours later... boom i knewwww i shouldn't have gone!!! i can't stop dreaming of it and i can't help feel bad (to the extent of serious depression sessions... as in can't get out of bed can't study can't shower let alone go out depressed!) i start wishing i had what was depicted like powers or such strong love...usually the imaginary or the idealized (nothing that relates to real life in anyway!) the problem it's not just twilight! it's anything i read or see!! even my safety net movies like documentaries and biology or philosophy or whatever books! granted i get a milder sort of emotional overthrow but it's still there... the other day i was watching something about famine and poverty and so on in africa and i got into this trance the whole day wishing i could be there or explore their world or be born an African to experience that... i don't think it is necessarily humanitarian empathy... i guess it stems from selfish roots.... like envy... (i am probably so green, that there are no green pigments for the rest of the world to reflect!!!!)
i know this sounds ridiculous and i sound like i am pmsing but i wouldn't be writing this if it weren't having such a terrible effect on my life!!
i've spoken to my mum and family doctor and they are convinced it is nothing (the doctor just laughed and said it's in my head and that he would "give [me] the birth control pills without all that") and laugh every time i try to explain... i feel really embarrassed but i don't know if it's just me or if there is something wrong with me!!! i feel i am missing out on so many things! including all the best sellers and box office hits :(
please help! (link)
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Edit,
Not all of our inner-search is about your God my dear. It is about finding truth, truth in the world, truth in yourself and even the truth in me. God is only where we start, where we end is not seen. Faith is as much a knowledge as a belief and faith in oneself is hard to find.
Like all of us, you are here for a reason. You have many who count on you, including oh so many you do not know. You may believe that life has let you down, only to find out it is you who are letting life down. You have and will have many people who you will touch, including a soul mate that awaits you to become the soul mate he needs you to be.
We so often fret over not having a boy friend, or girl friend, only to find out that while you were fretting, he/she was waiting. Waiting for us to become the one he/she could love. Don't be afraid of the challenge you put forth upon yourself. You are reacting to your situation, instead of acting upon it. Do you see yourself as a victim of life, or do you live your life?
Your sole mate is not in your TV, or in your living room, he is out here somewhere, in life. Don't take life so seriously that you forget to live it. Save time for yourself, but don't forget to give the rest of us some too. Get out of the city as soon as you can, spend a day in the world, the forest, the desert, hear the music of life. Have you ever just sat amongst the dandelions and watched the bees fly from flower to flower?
Don't be afraid to drop me an e-mail.
Original post;
There is so much pertinent information you leave out here that I should not even address this, but I'm going to. I don't know your age, or religious leanings, what is going on in your life etc.... My stab in the dark here would be, you are avoiding. There are things that you need to think about and you are not.
You are keeping your mind busy on other things to the point of obsession. Although, I go through something similar to this at different times of the year. Most of the time, I do not listen to older rock and roll any more, because I don't know when this will start happening again. I get songs stuck in my head for days on end. I will wake up, whether it is morning, or the middle of the night and the song will be playing in my head. I have gone for as much as three to four days with the same song running through my head.
The fact that you seem to be craving real input, suggests to me that you feel empty in someway and would ask you if it may be your faith. Are you questioning something you have been taught, or need something you have not been taught. I can't help but get the feeling of an emptiness in you from your writing.
"Life is a challenge, set down by God, to catch up to him." Knowledge, love, wisdom, curiosity, science and much more, are all apart of life and God. My knowledge is only touched on in my column, but it's a good place to start if you would like. I would enjoy a rigorous intellectual conversation from someone who so obviously has a brain, if you would care to write me.
Be well good spirit.
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Rating: 5
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Hello GilbertMar,
Thank you for your advice. You brought up the issue of god, and though I wish the case was as clear as that, it isn't. I am quite religious compared to most 23 year olds, i pray sometimes, and never feel empty in terms of faith... I'm not sure what that leaves in life but for the most part I am still feeling funny. Today I even cried over a Christmas commercial! it's getting worse by the moment! and I can't stand tv!
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