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I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.

I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.

I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).

I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.

Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.

Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.

Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
Visitors: 26971

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Me and my ex-boyfriend are like best friends..friends with benefits kinda thing..but a lot closer then friends like people think we're dating lol but as much as i love him to death..i can't stand him. We're both really stubborn people and we both think about things in completely different ways..and we always fight. Its rare that we go through a whole night with out getting into a fight. I've tried to end my friendship with him so many times but he's always like i can't let you leave cause i need you we need eachother your so important to me..and i can only get like 4 days of not talking to him cause i end up missing him too much. But as much as we care about eachother..in reality we don't bring anything good out of eachother. Does anyone know what i mean? Like you want to just forget about him but i feel like i need him cause he's my best friend. I don't know why i can't give him up =( I think since we care about eachother so much we try to bring back our feelings for eachother but its like that ship has left. We're going to off to college at the end of the school year..and i know our friendship wont last through college as much as i'll miss him. What should i do should i just end my friendship with him now or what? (link)
2nd edit;

You think this is rude! You think my telling you how I see it is RUDE. Your the one that wrote the letter, I'm telling you what I would do. Do you wonder why no one else has answered your post, I don't. Could it be that there isn't anyone out there who is willing to say the same thing I have said and get a 1 rating from you.

Don't feel bad, you are not the only person here who writes to find people to tell her what she wants to hear, to validate something they are doing wrong. I don't really care about the rating you give me, see, I care about you. I want you to look back on your life and not regret, to know that you tried very hard to do the right thing. If you knew you were doing the right thing, you would not have written your letter and what I say would not matter to you. But it does matter, doesn't it? The truth hurts sometimes, but you'll be the one living with it, not me. Be well dear spirit, I truly wish you the best and hope you can live a life of no regrets.


Original post;

End the benefits, see how long he needs you after that, won't be long I bet. While you are in a destructive, going no where relationship, do you think you may have missed your only, I hope not.

1st Addition,

Looks like ending it is not really an option to you, even though that is the question you asked. This is Advicenators, not Optionnators or tellyouwhatyouwanttohearanator. My advice seems fairly cut and dry, I advice you to end it with him and you give me a 1 rating. So it is clear that you don't really want advice, you want someone to tell you to stay with him. Run to him and try to make it work, your meant to be together, it's destiny. There, do you fell better now?

You may not like what I have to say, but when you ask an "A" or "B" question, I think a 1 when you don't get the answer you wanted is a little harsh.


Rating: 1
Your kinda rude.




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