I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.
I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.
I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).
I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.
Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.
Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.
Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
Visitors: 27010
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me and my boyfriend recently had rather mind blowing sex. After having sex for about a year now (we have been together for two) we are always very sensible. I was on the pill for a short time until it did crazy things with my periods, and then I went off it.
However, I have never achieved orgasm with him. Maybe this is because he is my first and we dont have time to practice - or a free house!
So its two questions. One leads on to the other.
a) Last night it felt the best ever - I had so much tension in me, but I don't know if I orgasmed. It felt like I was on the brink and then it didnt, and then it did, and cor, that suggests to me that I didnt - Ive never had one before so I don't know what it feels like! So, how do you know? What does it feel like?
b) After we did the deed and he pulled out, there was something that was very wet and sticky EVERYWHERE. the top of the condom was full and although the condom had pulled up a bit at the bottom and i know it could leak out, they fit well normally and i was under the impression it was unlikely.
Problem is, I've never been so wet it got on the bed and on all over him.
So do you think I should get the morning after pill? Should I consider that I may have 'come'? Or should I think that I was rather more extraordinarily wet than normal?
Yours, confused and worried. :) (link)
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Edit:
Not sure where you are coming from in criticizing me as you did. I answered your question, my question to you would be, did you not read anything after I mistakenly assumed you were young? I'm not sure when it became a crime to think that a women is young. I was not criticizing you, I admire that you spent a year getting to know your partner, but I ask you, how do I know for sure that the stains on your sheets were yours? I wasn't there. I can tell you that my wife has experienced female ejaculation a few times and contrary to what others say, you don't automatically know you have had an orgasm. Most often, like I said, the women thinks she has urinated. I tried to make that clear, it is a different type of orgasm then a women normally experiences and is very confusing for her.
There are no less then three types of orgasms for women and each is more intense then the other. There is the external, often done by masturbation. There is the internal caused by the rubbing of the penis or another object against the right spot in the vagina, (often called the g-spot), and is more intense then the external, the third is when a women actually ejaculates a liquid that is normally clear but does become sticky as it drys and may appear white once it does, but not always.
I'm sorry if I did not explain this clear enough for you, but perhaps you need to consider not being quite so sensitive, when you don't give all the information and a person has to make an assumption. In truth dear spirit, your own inhibitions about what is wrong and what is right about sex is getting in your way.
As to using the morning after pill, I will not answer to that, it is something that you have to choose for yourself, I will not be responsible for you ending a life. Even if it is only hours that an egg has been fertile, I still see that as abortion. Fault me if you want too, but I will not make that kind of choice for you.
Thank you though for making up my mind for me, I will no longer answer questions that don't have enough detail in them for me to give informed advice.
Original response;
You know, this is the problem of getting into sex at an early age, I don't mean to sound critical here, but when you have so many more questions then you have answers, this should be a clue that you don't know enough about sex to be participating in it. You know, you can't play baseball with out understanding it, but somehow it's okay to rush head long into something that can be so life changing.
I'm not criticizing here, I am speaking from experience. I knew nothing of the female body when we first started having sex and she didn't know much more. If I were to say that she did not experience an orgasm in the first five years, I would probably not be that far off. In our defense, back then, information on sex, was not easy to get.
I could explain to you that women naturally lubricate at times of arousal, they also can ejaculate during a very intense experience. Trouble is that when it is first experienced it seems much like urinating to the women and the shock of it mentally interrupts and diminishes the orgasm, so questioning whether or not you did is quite common.
Had you waited and explored sex by yourself through masturbation, you would know what an orgasm feels like, at least the type you induce yourself. I say this because the different types you women can experience, feel different as well.
Try self stimulation, after you learn how to make yourself orgasm, try it in conjunction with your partner and penetration. Learn about the female body, there are plenty of books out there. Don't be afraid to tell your partner what feels good, he'll thank you for the information.
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Rating: 3
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I can't help but think you didn't answer my primary question at all, and presumed that I am very young because my boyfriend is my 'first'. I do tell my partner what feels good and we are very comfortable with eachother. I do not masturbate because I do not feel comfortable with it - its a personal choice. If I have to learn about the low downs of orgasms, I feel perfectly fine asking. This is how I am learning about sex. I don't really mind how you best learn. I'd rather know what to expect so I don't get worried about whether its his or mine - which I am, hence why I asked. Please be a little less patronizing and answer my question next time? At the same time thanks for taking so long to write your answer. If you could answer the rest of it I'd find it helpful :-) Fanks.
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