abstract_profanity's advice column

askabstract_profanity

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Ok I wanted to ask you a question. I'm in 9th grade and 13, almost 14. Ok so I liked this guy since sometime in the middle of 8th grade. Now we are in high school. He has a twin. I could tell them apart before, from the way they did their hair. But now they are doing their hair the same...and I have no idea which one is which and I know I do like one of them for sure. I only have one class with him. Either first or second. I think I'll talk to one of them tomorrow but I get so nervous around him or...in this case them. I've never dealt with this before and its so confusing but I only have one of them on my mind and yeah. I mean he is so nice and everything so talking to him wouldn't be that bad because he will be nice. I don't see him the rest of the day only for a second after school. Unless its his brother. Well my question is how should I talk to him. My first period is PE and my schedule is messed up so I also have PE second too. So I have both of them. I hang out with my friend during both and its hard to talk to him when I'm with my friends and when he is with his. And I want to know how to talk to him with out being so nervous. Thanks so much and sorry it was long.

It's a mind over matter concept. You need to be determined to get what you want. And in this case, it's that guy. Being confident (but not cocky) is key in attracting yourself to others.

Think of it this way: If you don't get to know him how will you ever know what could've happened? You will always wonder "What if? You deserve it for yourself to get to know him. He seems like an awesome guy and it's always great to surround yourself with people like that. It'll make you happy.

As for your friends, you don't need their approval for who you talk to. If you want to talk to different people for a little bit, by all means, do so. You can include them in the conversation too. Or just politely tell them "Hey, I'll be right back. I'm going to talk to him for a bit."

I always like to start slow and simple when talking to a guy I like. You need to first get to know him. Plus, when you get to know him it will be much easier for you to not confuse him with his twin! If your in the same class you can ask for help on assignments, make jokes about the teacher, or just start casual conversation. Ex: If you notice he wears a shirt with the same band you like you can always bring that up too. It's always important to really listen to what his comments are. Remember you're trying to get to know him. Ask a lot of questions about him and get him to elaborate on some stories. He'll be impressed that your asking a lot about him and less on you. Most girls tend to talk about theirselves way too much. When you talk about yourself start out with some interesting fact about you. It will grab his attention and make you stand out from all the other girls.

After you get to know him and he gets to know you, start flirting. Gently touching him when you talk to him is a pretty good way to start off. Smiling a lot will make you seem optimistic and interested in what he has to say. And eye contact is very, very good. When you're shy you tend to have a confined gesture like avoiding eye contact, crossing your arms, and looking nervous. But if you have an opened expressing it will make him less nervous too. Try and make yourself easy to approach so that he doesn't feel awkward around you.

Do little things to show that you care about him. You could help him with homework, pick up papers for him if he drops them, look up a question he asked, research on his favorite hobbie and let him know something new. Also being nice to everyone really impresses a guy. You can show this by nto talking badly about anyone. Sometimes they like a little bit of a bad girl too. So mention something you did that was pretty intense. Like how you love doing dangerous stuff and like the rush of adrenaline.

So to review :

1. Have the right attitude and be determined.
2. Do what you need to do to talk to this guy.
3. Start with casual conversation.
4. Get to know him.
5. Flirt
6. Make yourself stand out
7. Listen to what he has to say
8. Be approachable
9. Show you care
10. Show him you're the best of both worlds

Good luck! :) Hope all goes well!

Rating: 5

Thanks so much! You give better advice than alot of people. Thanks so much

bio

I'm back! 6 years on this site and counting! Let yourself be known for something. It may not be perfect but imperfections are so much more interesting and fun!

I'm well known from my high interest in people. I thrive off helping others.

A lot of people say they have been through a lot. And well, this is true for almost everyone, including me. Rather than let past harm me I embrace what I've dealt with and use it to my advantage in the future.

I'm 20. Turning 21 soon enough. Been there, done that but cetainly have much more to learn. No, I do not know everything and I wouldn't claim. I do know that I am dedicated, educated, generous, motivated, and ambitious. I give all my time and heart into each answer.

I specialize in art, education, communication, psychology, massage therapy, health, travel and destinations.

I know information regarding school, college, abuse, neglect, personalities, relationships, friendships, little bit of info on cars, licit and illicit behaviors and or subjects. But I will be willing to answer anything!