askstargirl51
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Q: I am 26 years old and just recently started dating a guy about a month ago. We are having major major problems in the bedroom! He is always starting it off by kissing me all over fingering me and licking me, and then when i touch him he is soft.I am used to guy getting hard right away when we kiss passionately or he touches me. This one is a real challenge to get hard. I give him head and he is still soft. It gets pretty discouraging for me, I dont know what to do. I asked him if he has a problem, cause after all he is 36 so it might be getting to be an issue, He said no he has never had the problem before. I asked if he was attracted to me and he said YES. So where is the problem? am i the one doing this all wrong? Please help me. THere is a total blockage in the bedroom and this shouldnt be happening at all.
Stop and actually listen to him: He's nervous.

Telling him you're unsatisfied or comparing him to previous lovers is only going to cause more of a performance anxiety.

It also sounds like you want to go straight for the nookie. Relax! Enjoy the foreplay!

Try this:
Fantasies are often a great way of unlocking things in the bedroom. Explore his, talk about yours. Or if you both can't come up with anything, introduce some...toys. Your local adult shop should have all sorts of fun goodies to try out on each other. You could also try novelty shops. They usually have fun things for sale too.

cheers,
stargirl

PS: There's more to life than just handjobs and bjs. =P Explore his passions. Maybe he has a hidden kink you don't know about. Plus a month is a short amount of time for someone to get over being nervous. Add onto that the comments about previous lovers and being unsatisfied, his nervousness might be even longer.

shouldnt he be less nervous now, it has been a month. i do enjoy the foreplay but he doesnt seem to at all. If he like my bj's or handjobs wouldnt he get hard?

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stargirl51
I like helping people. Yeah, that's about it.

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