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i have a best friend. we've been best friends for almost seven years now. we've been very close, although we have had our ups and downs.
in summary, i am very jealous of her. she has caused me much stress and tears this past year because she was in all my classes, and she would get straight As on everything. i tried so hard in school and i could never beat her, and i cried so so much. not only did i cry because she was smarter than me, but she has a boyfriend and she is much more talented than i am.
i have never had a real boyfriend and i haven't even gotten my first kiss yet. we're both 15f. she got her first kiss last summer and i got upset for a while but then i got over it. and she got her boyfriend and i was okay with it, not that it matters what i think. then she told me she went to first base a few months ago, and after that she never really told me anything. but recently, she told me she had gone all the way to third base with him, and this happened before april. many, many months ago. i was not only extremely jealous, but i was upset that she couldn't trust me enough to tell me that she got scared that she got an STD.
she told me this a few days ago, but i cannot stop thinking about it. i can't outdo her. and it's making me very depressed. i don't want to go and get a boyfriend to try and see how much farther we can go just to be able to outdo her.
i don't know what to do. i feel like because of this, we're only going to grow more and more apart. i see her other friends wall posting her on facebook talking about double dates and i feel like because she has a boyfriend, i can't relate to her anymore. like if i had a boyfriend and went to third base with him, we would talk about it and share the experience T O G E T H E R. but i haven't even gotten my first kiss yet.
i want to stay her friend, but it's so stressful for me. everytime i see her, i can only count my flaws and see her perfections. i know that nobody is perfect, but this has never happened before this past year. she was in all my classes and i could never do better than her. ever.
i can't talk to her about this because it wouldn't do any good. it's not her fault that i'm jealous of her. but as i said before, i feel like from now on it'll only be downhill. we're only going to grow farther apart as she goes further with her boyfriend and i'm left in the dark. i know she doesn't have to tell me every last detail about she and her boyfriend but just something as significant as third base is something that i would consider important.
can someone please give me some advice?
If talking to her about this won't do any good, what will? You can't just expect that things will fix themselves. You have to talk to her if you want to make things change.
If her having a boyfriend is what is tearing you guys appart, then think back to when you were bestfriends before she had a boyfriend. Why was your friendship so strong? How were you able to relate and get along? Try to bring those things back and connect with her on other issues.
My childhood best friend and I split apart when we got into high school because she started dating guys and she started gravitating towards her friends who also had "guy problems" and such, whereas I did not. We're not BEST friends anymore, but we still enjoy each other's company, and whenever I did start dating someone, we had a lot of fun talking about it. Let things take their natural course, and PLEASE do not feel pressured to get a boyfriend just because you want to get back on the same page with your friend. True best friends don't let guys tear them apart. Just find your roots and everything will be ok.
(Rating: 5) thank you. i just needed to vent.