Gender: Female
Location: vancouver, canada
Age: 14
Member Since: July 5, 2008
Answers: 17
Last Update: August 17, 2008
Visitors: 1772
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I feel stupid. All the time. Embarrassed, unworthy. You name it. I have such low self esteem. And all my friends are just so perfect. They have perfect hair, perfect bodies, perfect social life, perfect boyfriends. In fact, I don't even know why they are friends with me at all. And I'm not jealous of them. That's so not a part of any of this. This has to do with me. I'm just saying that being surrounded by them just seems to make my life seem even worse.
I can't seem to do anything right. I mess up every friendship I have. My parents told me it's because I always drop everything if there's a friend in need. I support my friends to the extreme. They always take priority. This is because I don't want them to think I'm not a very good friend because I don't want them dumping me again and again and again. But, they never reciprocate the level of support that I give them. I just, can't seem to...do anything. I'm so stupid for even having friends. So so stupid. I shouldn't have any, because I'm selfish for expecting them to show their support for anything that I do. I feel as though I don't deserve their support, but I have to keep giving mine to them because I feel like they deserve it. I don't deserve it. I don't know why I would. They've made it pretty clear that I don't deserve anything from them.
Sorry if this is confusing. It's late, and I'm tired. But this all made sense in my head. It's just harder to get it out on paper...well, computer screen. Whatever. (link)
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Ok, i realize i don't know you so i don't really have the right to do this but i'm gonna be a yell at you for your own good. Listen to the whole thing. You really think you're THAT stupid?? I don't even know you and i know you're not. JUST because you screw up-probably not that often-
doesn't mean you can't do anything right. Everyone makes mistakes, everybody does things wrong. ALL THE TIME. You really think your friends lives are PERFECT? They're not. They have JUST as much trouble as you. They do as many things wrong as you. The only difference is they don't think the world is ending because they don't get an A, or they fight with their friend. Look, nobody's perfect. But just because you're not perfect doesn't mean you're a reck. Everyone has flaws and everyone makes mistakes. And let me tell you something that is the most important thing i've learned: Everyone gets a second chance. It doesn't matter how badly you screw up. I'm not saying if you DELIBERATLY do something badly you can do it over. But you may not know it, or see it, but everyone is forgiven at least once for things. Twice is kind of pushing it :P And you may not think you're "worthy of it" but to deny yourself a second chance is insulting to everyone else, and it just makes you as dumb THINK you are. You were having a bad day when you wrote this. Go out for lunch with your friends. Tell them how much you love them, and appreciate how they have their lives together. Ask them how they do it. You'll be surprised how much they have to compliment you on!
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Rating: 4
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Um thank you. This was good, and I did read it all. I never said that I think the world is ending because I didn't get an A or I got into a fight with one of my friends. You're right, you don't know me. So, you don't know the situation as well as I do obviously. So I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and just giving it up to reading way too much (or too little depending on how you look at it) into my situation. I didn't write this when I was having a bad day. Actually, yesterday was a pretty good day, relatively speaking. I have had a pretty bad six months because I got into a huge fight with one of my friends and that pretty much destroyed most of my other friendships. Therefore, I sort of do actually feel like I need to prove myself a good and supportive friend to them because I don't want them dumping me again. Of course though, I didn't go into this much detail in my question, so you wouldn't know this and I understand this. So, thank you.
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