askUgo
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Q: My husband is 29, his sister is my age 21. They have, in my opinion, the most inappropriate relationship ever. She'll come and just sit in his lap and cuddle up with him. Or if shes sitting on the couch he will sorta attack her in a huge bear hug and end up on top of her. Once he was eating dessert and she came and sat on his lap and he started to feed her from his dessert. He didn't even think to offer me until after she had already eaten from his spoon. I don't know what all of you think, but I find this utterly disgusting...its weird, gross, and just plain wrong!

I talked to him about it, and he felt that I was being ridiculous and said that I have intimacy issues because in my family we are not all over each other. yaa we give hugs and stuff..but wrestling with each other on the couch and sitting on laps, and feeding each other...thats just weird. He was like, she is my sister! I told him, "EXACTLY! she's your sister...thats why I have such a problem with this". I even told him that I dont want her sitting on his lap any more..shes not a small child and its not cute when she comes and sits on his lap. He had the nerve to tell me he'll think about it...not okay I understand this is bothering you and I'll stop... he's just going to think about it. How wonderful..

I know no one can really do anything about this, but I guess I just need to see what others think about this. Is it just me or is it weird for siblings to treat each other the same way they would treat their significant others; minus the kissing on the lips and sex?

All answers are welcome and much appreciated. :)
Different families have different traditions, that being written, I would expect for a 29 year old and a 21 year old to have a more adult like relationship. Either way, regardless of how you might feel about your husband's relationship with his sister, your priority should be on your relationship with your husband. You wield no control over the nature of their relationship, you can only express your feelings and concerns and accept what you can not change. If you feel content in your current marriage, I would say you have nothing to worry about.

Your advice didn't exactly help me out. It was an honest opinion though, and I appreciate your take on the situation. That is why I have given you a 3, as your answer was only an average answer. Thanx!

bio
Ugo
Ugo is a licensed professional counselor in Arizona. He holds a Bachelors in Psychology and a Masters of Science in Counseling Psychology. He is also the host of Road 2 Resolutions, a web site dedicated to addressing questions on mental health issues and conflict resolution issues.
Please visit Road2Resolutions.com for more questions and monthly newsletters.

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