Hello everyone. My name here on advicenators is Solcito. It's a nickname my ex-girlfriend gave me that basically means little sun. That's the only personal information I really want to give out. In the short time that I have inhabited this planet I feel that I have experienced enough to make good judgment in most situations. I've fallen in love, had my heart broken, been mugged, made and lost a ton of friends, lived in three continents and become fluent in two different languages. I just feel that it's important to let you know why I think I'm certified to answer your questions. I'm also a guy, so I know how men think. I'm not saying that there aren't a fair share of guys who have questions about girls. I just generally see more females asking about their love lives here than guys. Hope you like my advice, and good luck to everyone with their personal issues.
Gender: Male
Occupation: Student
Age: 19
Member Since: October 29, 2007
Answers: 58
Last Update: February 10, 2009
Visitors: 6402
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My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 9 months. He's 19--I'm 18.
He always used to get upset when I didn't feel like having sex/messing around. I've always known that he's not in this just for the sex. I knew this for a fact--when we first started dating he thought I was a "good" girl...a very good girl.
Well it all came out eventually--he flat out asked me if I found him attractive. Apparently in his mind, if I say no, it means that I'm not physically attracted to him.
Truth is--I'm extremely attracted to him and I let him know that I think he looks good constantly but idk what to do about the sex thing because sometimes I'm just not in the mood. Even if I try explaining it to him, he still thinks the same--I've tried. Is there anything I can do...DO NOT SAY. Other than just always having sex with him? (link)
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If you've been in a relationship with him for that long, then he should understand. I'm a guy, and I know that sometimes when a girl goes to a certain point with me, I start to expect it all the time, and when she won't, I get the idea that it's because things aren't going well. Sit him down, tell him that it has nothing to do with whether you find him attractive or whether you still have feelings with him. After that, do things to demonstrate that you really want to be with him. If he sees you making a strong effort to do nice things for him and show your affection for him, he will lose his uncertainty about where the relationship stands. I don't know how often you ARE in the mood to have sex, but try and figure out if you think he wants too much sex (like 3 times a day), or if you are just starving him sexually (like once a month). Guys peak sexually around 19, so he's always going to want it. If he's getting it on a regular basis, he should respect you when you don't want to. If you're not having sex very often, ask yourself why and see if you are subliminally telling yourself that you're not ready for a sexual relationship.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks...It's about three times a week. At one point it was like everyday and I didn't want that so we've cut down a little (mostly because I find excuses not to hang out at my house or his) but when I flat out refuse he gets that way.
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